Dear Shaina,

No, What?!

It does seem that thou protesteth a wee bit much.

I do not hold you responsible for your only-child status.  Nor do I hold you culpable for my mother-worry (something that even mothers of multiples have). And who ever asked you to tailor (nice Zayde metaphor) any of your needs or actions to my neuroses?!  Putting you back in the womb?!…you have spent less time in the womb (literally and metaphorically) than almost any kid I know, including Abe’s.

So, NO, WHAT?!

No, you won’t stop traveling around the world or wherever! I don’t expect you to.

No, you won’t stop experiencing your life to the fullest! I hope not.

No, you won’t live your life for me! Who asked you to?

No, you won’t stop running 10 miles a day…so your feet will hurt!

Despite my mother-angst and neuroses, I have spent much of my parenting consciousness focused on mitigating the burdens of your only-childness…from play-group to sleep-away camp, from staying out of your classrooms to encouraging you to make your own decisions about schools, coursework, career, travel, friends…just about everything. Dad and I both understood the importance of you finding and being your own person…and supported you in that process and its outcome. Personally, I think we did a damn good job (maybe too good a job)!

I am sorry that you bear this burden, but I also know that even if you had 5 brothers and sisters, the challenges of finding your own life burdened by fulfilling your fantasy of your parents wishes and dreams would still be there. My own parents, your Bubbe and Zayde, wanted only one thing from us…for us to be happy…the ultimate in a catch-22 parental demand/burden/expectation. If you defy them, you suffer; if you comply, they win…but so do you.  That takes a while to learn. It is my only wish for you, also.

I recognize your separateness from me and mine from you. My feelings are my own and not intended to impose expectations on you.  That is your problem to deal with (although you seem to be dealing with it just fine). I accept fully who you are and who you are continually becoming.  My mother-love is bursting with pride and I am, with some objectivity, in awe of all your accomplishments, your daring, your zest for life and your skills in managing the hurdles of growing up and staying alive. If there ever were expectations, you have exceeded them all…so get over it.

And now that your SHAINA sign (from your Bat Mitzvah) has fallen off your bedroom door, it may be time for you to clean out that childhood shelter of protection and fantasy.

That doesn’t mean I won’t always being praying for your health, happiness, safety and mazel. It also doesn’t mean that I won’t be hoping that, one day, I will see one of those eggs (which I absolutely know are your own) come to fruition. No pressure.

I couldn’t love you more…just the way you are.

Love,

Mom

xoxooxoxxoxoxoxoxoox

Crustless Quiche Appetizer

After all of our recent discussions, I thought I might send a blander recipe to settle things down a bit.  It still has lots of flavor, but could be spiced up if you want.

I made this dish for an event I was going to.  I needed something dairy or veggie that would yield a lot of pick-up bite-sized snacks that could be served at room temperature. This worked out perfectly!  It can also be made in a more traditional quiche dish and served hot or made in individual mini muffin trays (although that seems like a lot more work).

To adapt for Passover, leave out the flour and you could add a little matzoh meal.  If you leave out both, it becomes gluten free.

Preheat Oven to 350°

• 1 pound chopped spinach, fresh (sautéed) or frozen, drained
• 1 cup sliced mushrooms, sautéed
• 1 large or two small onions, chopped and sautéed
• ~ 1 cup cheddar and 1 cup jarlsburg cheese, grated and mixed together
• 1 cup milk
• 1 1/2 cups half and half
• 1/2 cup cottage cheese
• 6 eggs, slightly beaten
• Scant 1/2 cup flour
• 1-2 cloves garlic, minced or 1 teaspoon garlic powder
• 3/4 teaspoon salt
• 2 teaspoons freshly ground black pepper
• 1 teaspoon dried dill or 1 tablespoon fresh
• 1/2 teaspoon freshly ground nutmeg
• 1/4 cup parmesan cheese for topping

Reserve 3/4 cup of the cheddar/Jarlsburg cheese mixture for the topping and set aside.

Place spinach, mushrooms, onions and cheddar/Jarlsburg cheese in a large bowl and mix together.

Combine milk, cream, cottage cheese, slightly beaten eggs, flour and spices in a bowl and mix together.

Add the milk/cream mixture to the vegetable/cheese mixture and mix thoroughly.

Lightly spray bottom and sides of a 9” x 13” glass baking dish with a non-stick cooking spray.

Pour quiche mixture into the baking dish.

Mix parmesan cheese with remaining cheddar/Jarlsburg mixture and sprinkle over the top of the casserole.

Bake at 350° for 40 – 50 minutes or until top browns slightly and casserole is set.

Casserole may be undercooked and frozen for later use. Defrost and allow to come to room temperature and finish baking in the oven at 350°.

Cut into 1″ squares for pick-up appetizers.