◊ voice

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Dear mom,

People are asking how my transition from Berkeley to Birmingham feels and I’m like what. What’s a transition? I sweat double here than I did in Berkeley. That’s the only change I notice. Deep inside though, I know I left Berkeley with heaps of growth and new knowledge.

Earlier last semester, I got roped in to speaking to a class of undergrads studying journalism + Judaism. Don’t ask. They wanted me to speak about new media stuff. Because I know things?

I sat in front of the class and felt 17 again. I told them what I was working on and admitted I don’t feel like a real reporter. Then they asked questions and I was surprised I had real answers.

Towards the end of the talk, one of the girls in the room raised her hand. She said, “Like, how did you get the courage to start to get your voice out there?”

I foreal laughed out loud. Then I was kind of stumped. I have a voice?

I thought about my literal voice. About the first semester of school when my instructor made me repeat sentences over and over and over again until I ended on a hard stop instead of a question. I learned how to mask uncertainty from “I have a story idea?”

I thought about the voice coach who came to radio class and made me YELL my script in front of class. “Get angry!” She said. All I could do was giggle.

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Sasha’s turn to be humiliated

Sometimes I listen back to my voice on recorded interviews and bang my head against my desk. I sound like a drunk 5 year old. I hate myself, I hate myself, I hate myself.

Other times, though, I recognize my voice –with its giggles, uptalk and meek rambles– as valuable. It’s taken me to some cool places. Though that recognition is fleeting, it’s a remarkable change from two years ago.

I’m not sure I have a firm answer for the girl who asked me how I found the courage to put my voice out there. I’m still kind of laughing about the whole thing. But what I said to her was this: find people who believe in themselves and surround yourself with them. Allow them to lift you.

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I spent the past two years surrounded by brilliance and fearlessness that motivated me to be those things too. Why did I really spend so many hours in the B1 cave? Because working next to people venturing into the frontiers of virtual reality and building apps and creating a freaking media empire, etc, etc, etc filled me with courage.

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As my transition from that wonderful bubble into the real world hits, I’m counting those first moments I saw the value of my voice to fortify me.

xo,

Shaina

I made a lot of angst recipes during the last few weeks of school. At the end of the day all I usually wanted was to crush nuts in the vitamix. Pulverizing is empowering.

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Plant based snickers bars:

Bottom Layer

  • 2 cup cashews
  • 1 cup dried figs, chopped
  • tsp sea salt
  • tsp cinnamon
  • 2 tbs coconut flour
  • vanilla bean paste

Middle Layer

  • 1 cup peanut butter
  • 5 -7 dates
  • 1 tsp sea salt
  • handful rosted peanuts, chopped

Top layer

  • 1 cup almond butter
  • 8 dates, soaked over night
  • 1 tsp sea salt

Chocolate layer

  • ¾ cup coconut oil
  • ¾ cup good cocoa powder
  • ½ cup honey

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  1. Add ingredients in layer 1 to food processor and pulse until dough forms
  2. Transfer dough to a small loaf pan lined with parchment paper press into a square about 1/4 inch thick. Put into freezer.
  3. Repeat above steps with ingredients for layer two. Reserve peanuts and mix into dough after combined.
  4. Spread layer two on top of layer one. Place into freezer.
  5. Melt ingredients for chocolate layer above low heat and spread on top of layers 1 and 2. Put into freezer until all layers are hardened.
  6. Remove from freezer.  Cut into squares. Store in the freezer or fridge to keep fresh until serving.

 

Paleo birthday cake to celebrate Mozzified turning 1!

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Cake*

  • 4 eggs
  • 4 tbsp raw honey
  • 5 tbsp coconut flour
  • 1/2 tsp baking powder
  • vanilla bean
  • some sea salt

*double this recipe for 2 layers

Mango Filling

  • 1 3/4 cups raw cashews, soaked for at least 4 hour and drained well
  • handful ( 5- 7) dates
  • 1 cup dried mango
  • ½ tsp lemon juice
  • vanilla bean
  • some sea salt

Frosting

  • 1 cup coconut butter
  • 1/2 cup coconut oil
  • splash of beet juice
  • splash of carrot juice
  • splash of lemon juice
  • 1/2 cup honey
  • vanilla bean

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Preheat oven to 350. Using double the cake recipes, pulse dry ingredients in a food processor and then pulse in wet ingredients.  Grease two 6 in pans with coconut oil and pour batter into pans. Bake for 25 minutes.

Meanwhile puree all filling ingredients in food processor until smooth and creamy. Add warm water as needed. Place in bowl and set aside.

Put frosting ingredients into small pot and warm over low heat while stirring.

Remove cake from over and allow to cool. Cover bottom later with filling. Add top layer and cover with frosting.

 

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