◊ your problem


Dear mom,

I don’t get it. Are you threatening to take the glow-in-the-dark stars down from my bedroom ceiling? Why would you do that??

Your letter would have made more sense 10 years ago… or in 10 years. My pattern of living far far away for a bit and not so far away for a bit hasn’t changed since I graduated high school. I can’t tell if what you’re saying implies that I haven’t been an adult for all those years. And if I’m not an adult, do you think spending a year on doing personal growth activities like yoga and contact dance is going to grow me into one?

Girl please.



Last week my yoga instructor busted me for checking email during shivasana. Nothing about my life is changing.

I’m going to gently suggest that your empty nest PTSD is a projection of your own anxiety about impermanence and/or liberation from mothering a child. The trigger is your nestlessness. Your problem, not mine.

I know it’s hard to tell, but I’ve been grown for some time now. You are free to build a new life without me in the background. Uprooting and rerooting is hard, but you’re doing it and it sounds like y’all are flourishing. It’s nice to hear about dad’s Spanish class, your new mahjong friends and your favorite neighborhood restaurants. I’m trying to find the same shit here.

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so adult I can even take care of animals


If you need to take down my glow-in-the-dark stars for your own liberation, fine… I guess. But if you’re suggesting I sleep in the basement next time I’m home, sorry. It’s not happening.




It’s almost time for our annual Esrei Yamim cleanse (learn more about the 10 days between Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur when we eat only whole, vegan, refined-sugar free foods). We’ll be doing the fundraising component again with a very cool new partner. Stay tuned, Arielle and I will explain more soon. To get things started, I’m posting a throwback to one of my favorite cleanse recipes. Arielle and I invented it during our first cleanse back in 2012 and it’s been my go to ever since. See? Nothing has changed.


The Golden Purp

  • 1 tbs olive oil
  • 4 cloves garlic, chopped
  • 8 oz of firm tofu, sliced into one inch pieces
  • 1 tbs olive oil
  • 1 onion, chopped
  • 1 tbs carraway seeds
  • 1tsp allspice
  • 1 head purple cabbage, chopped
  • 3 tsp sea salt
  • black pepper to taste
  • 1/4 c golden raisins
  • 1 granny smith (or other tart) apple, chopped
  • 1/3 c apple cider vinegar
  • poppy or sesame seeds for garnish

Heat olive oil in skillet and add chopped garlic and tofu. Fry until golden brown and remove from skillet (place garlic and tofu in separate bowl). Then, saute onions with caraway seeds and allspice over low heat in olive oil until onions are translucent. Add chopped cabbage, salt and pepper and cover for about 2 minutes over low heat (cabbage should become tender, but remain crunchy). Then, add chopped apples and raisins and stir for 2 more minutes. Add apple cider vinegar and cover for one minute (the vinegar will turn the cabbage bright purple!). Remove from heat and stir in tofu and poppy seeds. Enjoy immediately over brown rice (and yogurt) for a hearty meal. It will stay good for a few days, but beware: the raisins will soak up the juices and become bloated, which is scary and gross.