Dear Shaina,

I just finished scrubbing down every inch of the kitchen after another disgusting foray into the world of homemade gefilte fish.  Every year I vow I will never do it again…those glaring fish eyes and impossibly elusive little bones…those little fish bits and pieces of skin that end up stuck on every surface in the kitchen…the endless dirty pots and bowls reeking from the debris of overcooked onions and fish carcasses… and the smell!.  What was I thinking?!  I don’t even think my gefilte fish tastes that good!

Maybe it’s like childbirth…you forget all the pain and suffering when everyone around you starts oohing and aahing over the end result.  And then people come to expect it…Passover wouldn’t be the same.  And my fish man, Jerry, from Nebraska… I talk to him once a year and he remembers my address! I tried not to call him this year, but I broke down in the end and placed my order at the last possible moment. How could I not call him before Passover?

Even the most torturous processes can be comforting. An hour of scrubbing the boiled-over burnt-on fish juice off the stove kept my mind painstakingly focused on my cleanser scarred fingertips. No other thoughts existed in my mind. I rubbed and scrubbed that stove until my cuticles started shedding and every speck of that black crusty glop was gone.  The sense of accomplishment in taking that stove down to its bare eyes and polishing it until it gleamed was beyond…well let’s just say, I am beginning to understand the methods of Bubbe’s cleaning madness.

Maybe we are just too much in our heads. Our minds are working overtime, so we engage in these consuming tasks.  they provide respite from being worried about your sore knee or the recent rapes in India…or being scared about not having an answer or trying to make sense of it all…so we go back for more.

Shaina, I love knowing that you have recognized the you you like.  I am proud that you have allowed yourself to go to a place where you are forced to pay attention to the process and to how you feel. And I am thrilled that you are playing…a lot.  You are correct.  Once you learn how to do these things, you can do them anywhere.  They are the answers to all the questions that really have no answers.  As your mother, and your biggest fan, it is my absolute pleasure to witness your remarkable journey…and to know, even if you don’t, that you are traveling in the right direction.

Learning how to rest

I am also practicing the fine art of playing and attending to the moments.  It is a lifelong learning.  I am grateful for my own evolving knowing of the me I like. I learned how to breathe a little more fully in yoga today and that downward dog really does provide a rest.

I feel good when I scrub down my kitchen and get a good foot massage when I get a pedicure.

Working out the kinks

I am learning a new way to hold up my head and strengthen my core so that my body doesn’t hurt me…and so I don’t hurt it.

I may even be able to balance my body…and my life…someday.

I have the rest of my life to learn…the same as you…the same as everyone.

This year just won’t be the same.

We’ll be having my gefilte fish at Seder in a few days. I am making some carrot Halwa and Indian Spiced Chicken. The agony of preparation will be over.  The Slivovitz will have kicked in and your presence will be both very much missed and very much felt in the moments of the evening.

Enjoy your Indian Passover at Hannah’s and don’t forget to Skype!

I love you and miss you.

Love,

Mom

Xoxooxoxoxo

P.S. I know you won’t be making Gefilte Fish anytime soon, but I needed to get it off my chest, so I am sending the recipe…and maybe someday.  I am also sending a favorite dessert.  It is as easy as the fish is hard and it will make the pain (it helps with the smell, too) go away.

Gefilte Fish

Makes 50 – 75 pieces depending on the size of each piece.

• 6 – 7 pounds of fish, filleted and deboned, save the heads, tails, bones and skin for fish broth
  Traditionally a combination of whitefish, yellow pike and carp is used for Gefilte Fish.
  I used carp (1lb.), buffalo fish (4 lbs.), walleye (1 lb.) and amberjack (1lb.) because that was what I could get.
• 3 onions
• 6 – 7 carrots
• Salt
• Pepper
• ½ cup sugar (or to taste)
• 4 -5 eggs
• 4 – 6 quarts of cold water
• ½ cup matzoh meal

Place the bones, skin and fish heads in a very large pot with the water and add 2 teaspoons of salt.  Cover and bring to a boil.  Remove the foam that accumulates.

Slice  2 onions in rounds and add to the fish broth.  Add the sugar and simmer for about 30 minutes while the fish mixture is being prepared.

All ground up and ready to go!

Grind the fish filets in a food processor with an onion and one or two carrots until it has a soft pasty texture.  Feel the fish with your hands to find any unground veiny pieces or small bones.  This is the really messy part and takes a while.

Add the eggs, one at a time, 2 teaspoons of salt and freshly ground pepper to taste and mix thoroughly. Mix in about a ½ cup of matzoh meal to make a light, soft mixture that will hold its shape.

Remove the fish heads, skins and bones from the fish broth. Add carrots cut in large chunks to the broth and return the broth to a simmer.

Wet hands with cold water and scoop up about a ¼ cup (may use more or less depending on how big you like your gefilte fish pieces) of the fish mixture and form into oval shapes. Gently place the fish patties into the simmering fish broth.  Cover loosely and simmer for 20 to 30 minutes.  Taste the liquid while the fish is cooking and add seasoning to taste. If you like a sweeter fish, add a little more sugar to the broth.  Simmer for another 20 minutes until flavors are cooked through and fish is done.

Using a slotted spoon, carefully remove the Gefilte Fish and arrange on a platter.  Reserve some of the fish broth to be served with the fish.

Cut cooked carrots into rounds on the diagonal and place on top of fish. Chill and garnish with parsley.  Have plenty of horseradish to serve with the Gefilte Fish.

The Chocolate Bomb

Preheat oven to 350°

Prep time – 15 minutes

Cooking time: 1 hour +

• 8 ounces German Sweet Chocolate or any good dark chocolate bars
• 2 teaspoons undiluted instant coffee or instant espresso powder
• 1 cup sugar
• ½ cup boiling water
• 1 cup butter at room temperature (2 sticks cut up into 6 pieces)
• 4 large eggs at room temperature
• 1 tablespoon flavoring of your choice – vanilla or almond extract or Cognac or Amaretto or any liqueur of your choice

Line a 5-cup soufflé dish, charlotte mold or oven proof ceramic bowl with a double thickness of foil.

This dessert is prepared entirely in a food processor using the basic steel chopping blade.

Break chocolate into pieces and drop into the food processor work bowl with instant coffee and sugar.  Pulse about 4 times until mixture gets started and then let processor run until the chocolate is finely chopped.

With processor running, pour boiling water through the feed tube. Let processor run until chocolate is melted and thoroughly mixed.

Add the butter and pulse 3 times.  Then let the processor run until the butter is blended completely into the chocolate mixture.

Add eggs and flavoring and process for 20 to 30 seconds.

Empty the mixture into the bowl lined with foil.  Bake in a preheated oven for about an hour.  Check after 45 minutes. It is done when it rises and a thick darkly browned (almost burnt) crust is formed.  Remove from oven and cool. The baked ball of chocolate will recede as it cools.

When cool, wrap foil around ball and seal in an airtight bag.  It may be stored in the refrigerator for up to two weeks or frozen for 2 months or more.

To serve, peel off foil and invert on a serving platter.  The outside of the ball will look sticky and irregular.

It can be garnished with strawberries or decorated with whipped cream or powdered sugar. Chill until serving time.  Cut in small pieces and serve.

Dear Shaina,

I keep reading your letter over and over again, just to look at the pictures…You in your ratty shorts and tee shirt standing by the stove, your hair haphazardly piled on top of your head and your smiling twisted body balancing your friend on your back at the Taj.  I can practically feel the dryness of your skin when I look at the picture of you touching the artistry on that wall. I love feeling you in your pictures. I guess I miss you, just a little!

People always ask me “How did you let her go?” or “Aren’t you scared?” 

The truth is… I am scared. I have been scared since the day you were yanked out of my body. It doesn’t really matter where you are. I will always be scared, but so what?  That doesn’t mean either of us have to stop living.  Being scared doesn’t change the outcome, whatever it may be.  So I ignore my scared in favor of marveling at your adventurous nature and taking pride in your accomplishments.

As far as not letting you go, was that ever even an option? I have been working on letting you go, also, since the day you were born. Isn’t that my job as a parent? Well, maybe I did too good a job.

I still do miss you. And your pictures bring you a little closer. I know that you are probably not missing us in exactly the same way, but I couldn’t help but think that you might find a small bit of pleasure from seeing some pictures of our life.  So I started taking pics everywhere I went…lest you think I just sit around all day and miss you.  I will warn you…these are iPhone pics taken in bad light by non-professionals in random situations at spontaneous moments. No photo commentary allowed.  These pics are for emotional purposes only.

As I looked through the lens of my camera, I realized that you are a virtual part of every scene in my life.

I volunteered at the White Elephant Sale at the Day School and there I was working in the gym in which you ran laps and said Shabbat blessings every Friday for eight years of your life. Your former principal was organizing the sale and we talked about where you were and what you were doing. You were with me in that gym for those hours that I folded and organized and stacked stuff.

I went over to the JCC to check out some replacement tiles for my mah jong set and they were teaching mah jong and needed a fourth, so I sat down at the table and there was your fifth grade teacher.  I remembered her name. She asked about you…and there you were again…with me at the table.

The NCCJ Awards dinner was last night and I was at a table with one of your Anytown co-workers.

I talked to a whole bunch of people who knew you and asked about you. My name was Shaina Shealy’s mom and I was so proud to have you with me all evening long.

There isn’t a day that goes by without a Shaina connection.

I know I haven’t mentioned much about food, although you are totally entwined in my life when it comes to food. My most recent experiment was replicating Bubbe’s Chicken Burgers.  Maybe I’m just in a missing mood, but I really wanted one of those garlicky Bubbe burgers, smothered with fried onions. I served them one Shabbat and everyone loved them. They were such a hit that I am considering making them as a Passover dish and using matzoh meal instead of flour.

I cant believe Passover is in three weeks!  Another opportunity to clean out the cupboards…and to miss you.  I’ll be pulling out the Indian fabric to drape over the tables and maybe even making a little Indian inspired spicy charoseth…to have a little of you there, at the table.

Have a wonderful Passover…wherever you happen to be…and keep sending those pictures!

Love,

Mom

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Bubbe’s Chicken Burgers

Easy and Delicious!

This recipe can be doubled for a crowd and the seasonings are really up to you. For gluten free burgers, just leave off the bread crumbs. They can be made cocktail sized and served on baguette rounds for a hearty appetizer.

• 4 -6 fresh cloves of garlic (use less if you’re not a garlic fan)
• ½ of a medium onion
• 2 pounds skinless boneless chicken breasts cleaned and trimmed (more or less)
• ⅓ cup bread crumbs
• 2 eggs
• Salt and pepper to taste
• 1 or 2 large sweet onions thinly sliced
• Olive oil

Put the onions and garlic in the food processor bowl with the steel chopping bladeand chop until minced. Add the chicken breasts, bread crumbs, eggs and salt and pepper to the bowl and process until the chicken is finely chopped.
In a large frying pan, sauté onions slices (I like a lot of onions) in a small amount of olive oil until translucent or lightly caramelized.  Use your hands (mixture is sticky so wet your hands with water as needed while making patties) to form chicken mixture into small flattened patties and sauté with the onions, adding oil as needed.  The onions will become more browned as the chicken burgers cook.  Cook thoroughly until done.  Make a small test burger and add seasonings as needed.

Can be served with pasta and salad or as a sandwich.  These are good hot, warm or cold.

2 pounds of chicken makes a whole lot of little burgers…enough for a crowd and leftovers. The recipe can easily be cut in half or doubled.

Burgers can be frozen and reheated. Just sauté some fresh onions and they are as good as the day they were made. They are almost as good as I remember Bubbe’s!

Dear mom,

You’re wrong. I wasn’t delusional about my ability to pack up and move to India on my own. I had a plan. But you offered to help and told me not to stress, and I let you pull a packing miracle because I knew you would.

And now here I am in India, pulling the same shit. I’m ready to depend on no one but myself and just as ready to depend 100% on others. There’s no other way.

My second day here, I took the local train during rush hour by myself to get to the Pracheen studio, my favorite place in Bombay. I knew the train, platform number and exit. But competing with flying elbows amidst hoards of frantic pushers and shovers was nothing I could have prepared for. I told a woman standing next to me that I needed to go to Masjid station, and she grabbed my arm and we ran together (elbows out).  The train doors opened and knocked out any sense control I had left in me. I shuffled my feet onto the ladies only car in sync with those of women sandwiching me on all sides. Half an hour later, as the train approached Masjid, someone put her hands on my shoulders and turned me towards the right side of the car. Another woman placed my hand on a rail near the exit.

And I reached Pracheen (image above) in one piece! It was heaven. I spent two days at the studio asking questions and watching the printers do their thing. And I somehow managed to keep my rupees in my pocket (don’t worry, Ill be back).

At home, I rely on people and systems – here, I don’t know the systems. I make self-guided plans with enthusiasm, and scratch them without regret when I’ve miscalculated. I planned to spend yesterday at a women’s craft workshop, and ended up with a new friend at an Alabama-mega-church-style Guru garden/museum/monument dedication. It was weird. But I eventually made it to the workshop.

I rely on people and I embrace independence at the same time. I could have packed up my life in DC all by myself. But I let you help me.

omg I love Indian kitchens

Preparing salads and dosai

When I arrived in Bombay, I steered my bags and Aditi’s home address towards the taxi station until I heard Aditi and her father calling my name. They waited at the airport for my delayed arrival and took me home. Aditi held my hand as we crossed streets, coordinated my cell phone plan, indulged my playtime in the kitchen with her mom and filled my water bottle before I knew it was empty over and over again. Aditi’s family took care of me, and I learned yum maharstrian recipes from her mom (she cooks just like you – doesn’t rely on exact measurements, uses tons of garlic, is open to new/weird things (like my special salad creations) and even uses a piece of granite as her cutting board like you!). Below are recipes for her Pudina (mint) Chutney and Pohe.

Please use the vitamix and enjoy!

love,

Shaina

PS. I want to tell you about all of the foods I’ve been eating here and brag about my intestines of steel (I figure I’ve already paid my dues to the intestine gods, but can you say another special prayer just in case?). Currently I’m sitting in a cafe facing a window… Outside, there’s a street-food vendor in a huddle of pani puri slurppers. Pani puri is my second favorite street food (followed by fresh cucumber with masala and lime). A puri is small fried cracker-bowl – pani puri is puri filled with potatoes and chick peas and spicy/tangy tamarind water. Pani puri balls are eaten in one bite – quickly, one after the other… crunchy and explosive. I want it.

Above: I went to an organic farmers market in Dharavi (Asia’s largest slum) where they had organic pani puri! I don’t believe it.

Basic Kande Pohe

• Flattened Rice Pieces (can be found in Indian specialty market)
• 2 tbs vegetable (or coconut) oil
• 1 tsp mustard seeds
• 1 tsp cumin seeds
• 1 large or 2 small onions, chopped finely
• 1 bunch cilantro (corriander leaves) destemmed and chopped
• 1 (or 2 depending on taste) green chili, chopped
• 1 bunch curry leaves, destemmed and chopped
• 1 tsp turmeric
• 1 tsp sugar
• 1 potato, diced
• juice of 1/2 lime
• 1 tsp salt
• Fresh (or dry unsweetened) coconut for garnish

(Substitutions: If you don’t have access to an Indian market, you can substitute cracked wheat, rice, cream of wheat or vermicelli noodles for flattened rice pieces. Aditi’s mom often makes poha with cracked wheat, and adds cabbage and carrots for a heartier dish.)

Aditi’s mom created a coarse brush to spread oil onto her pans from pieces of coconut shell… perfect for making thin dosai. She claims it’s her own innovation.

Cover rice pieces with water and set aside. Heat oil on high heat in skillet and add mustard seeds. Cover skillet for one minute or until you hear the mustard seeds begin to pop (covering the skillet/pan is important – the mustard seeds will fly when they pop and can be very hot… remember the 1st time you tried cooking with mustard seeds, mom? You had seed burns on your neck!). Then, add cumin seeds and chopped onions. Cook until onions are translucent – about 4 minutes. Then, add half of the chopped cilantro (reserve other half for garnish), green chilis, curry leaves, tumeric, sugar and potato. Cover and cook for 3 – 5 minutes until potato is soft. Drain water from rice pieces and add to skillet along with lime juice and salt.  Cover and let cook for 5 -8 minutes stirring every 2 minutes. Remove from heat and let sit, covered for 5 minutes. Garnish with coconut and cilantro.

Pohe is a signature Maharashtrian breakfast and snack, but is eaten all over India. It’s super easy to make, nutritious and filling. I remember eating pohe shoveled from a gigantic yellow mound on a trafficky street in Ahmedabad a year and a half ago, where vendors feed busy men rushing to their offices in the morning. Despite eating amongst the dust, gasoline fumes and constant honking, it was delish. But Aditi’s mom’s pohe blew me away. All of her ingredients were so fresh – she even grated coconut straight out of the shell. She makes Pohe every Sunday for breakfast. It’s easy to make and nutritious. Traditionally, when men visit homes to meet potential brides, the family serves pohe as a snack. Curry leaves pack iron and turmeric helps circulation.

Eating instant Pohe at 5am after a night out in Delhi

Pudina (Mint) Chutney

• 2 bunches fresh mint (3 cups destemmed and flattened into cup)
• 1 bunch cilantro (coriander leaf) (1 cup destemmed and flattened into cup)
• 5 cloves garlic
• 3 (or 1 or 2) green chilis
• juice of 1 fresh lemon
• salt

Put all ingredients into food processor and puree until the ingredients are no longer recognizable. The end product should be a thick paste.

Pudina is usually eaten as a chutney to accompany partha (stuffed flatbread) and other dishes, but at Aditi’s house, I stirred Pudina chutney into a salad with cabbage, beets, carrots, sprouted mung beans, yogurt and lime. Another great way to eat pudina is with plain yogurt and a boiled potato (sounds weird, but it’s perfect I promise).

See where I’ve been:

Train station in South Bombay

Organic greens at farmers market!

Falooda! It has chia!

Pracheen

The walls are lined with blocks

whack!

I had did an amazing bike tour of Havelis (old mansions) in Old Delhi… In the first minute of the tour, I almost crashed into a man carrying a skinned goat on his shoulder.

It’s been great reuniting with old friends… I went on a road trip with Tarini and her friends and we ended up at the Taj. Typical Sunday adventure..We tried (and mostly failed) to get some good poses in.

Learning about craft from my guruji

Dear mom,

 
You instructed me to enjoy it all… and I can assure you that it happened during my final days in DC. I enjoyed every last bit and bite.
My intentions of zero waste and minimal $s sent me on a dizzying pantry-emptying bender during my last weeks in DC. I pressured myself to use all the ingredients I had on hand creatively. Combing through my freezer, I found crumpled baggies of oats and quinoa and almond meal and chia and flax seeds and coconut shreds and figs (note that my kitchen staples aren’t the typical ones) tucked away in corners and beneath ice trays. I dumped heaps of these ingredients into puddings and cookies and cakes, mixing and crazed like a mad scientist. I spent more time with my food processor than my computer. My experiments were mostly successful…  Even though the yeast rolls came out hard as rocks and the cakes tasted like too much buckwheat, I did enjoy it all.

Unfortunately the clean-out energy didn’t make it up the stairs into my bedroom. But you did! You swooped into DC and packed up my whole room in just 6 hours. Maybe my kitchen clean-up was just procrastination of the real thing. I know you think I have a lot of junk.. but if it was really a lot, we wouldn’t have been able to fit it all in one car. But we did it and I’m out of my house and out of DC. What?

 
And tomorrow I go to INDIA. Why am I so calm? It’s not a familiar feeling. I’ve never ever EVER felt content before a big change. It’s not in my nature to feel at peace with my decisions before I take action. I’m never at ease during my last night somewhere. But I’m sitting on the couch updating our blog like it ain’t no thing. Am I in denial of the situation? Is it going to be a disaster? Or am I just bored of stress?

 
This year I understood that the world is big and I am small. My life is nothing… in a good way. My world revolves around me, but the world does not (obvi a menial realization, but we only children process these things differently…). I’m nothing and it’s a load off. No one cares.

After tomorrow, I’ll have no food processor or kitchen. No climate control. No down comforter. I know things won’t be easy, but it’s part of the package. And I hope to enjoy it all!

So please enjoy these recipes inspired by the last few crumbs of my DC kitchen. See you in a few months!

Love ya, see ya later,

Shaina

Raw chocolate pudding

Making “puddings” from leftover pantry staples became an obsession as I was getting ready to leave DC. I created endless variations on this healthy treat and each came out differently. Below lists my most successful combination of ingredients, but I encourage experiments. Always.

• 2 c raw oats
• 3 c hot water
• 1/3 c flax meal
• 1/3 c raw almonds
• 1/3 c pumpkin seeds
• 1/2 c raw cashews
• 1/3 c coconut shreds
• 4 pitted dates
• 1 tbs vanilla extract
• 1 tbs cinnamon
• 4 tbs unsweetened cocoa powder (or 6 for extra deep choco flavor)
• 2 tbs chia seeds

Pour hot water over oats in food processor and let stand for at least five minutes. In separate vessel, mix tbs chia seeds with 1/2 cup of water and let sit (chia seeds will absorb water and form a gelatinous ring around them – chia seeds help our bodies absorb water and are an excellent source of fiber). Add all ingredients except for chia seeds to food processor and blend on high speed until smooth (for vanilla pudding, leave out cocoa powder). Add water to loosen mixture. Once all ingredients are blended into a smooth liquid, stir in chia seeds.

Let set in the fridge – it will thicken overnight. Top with a dollop of yogurt for a healthy breakfast. It’s RAW and on the cleanse! Wow.

Add peanut butter, cardamom or whatever for additional flavor.
Leftover Veggie Crunch

• 1 1/2 c greek or plain yogurt
• 3 large eggs2  cups leftover/pre-cooked brown rice, room temp
• 1 dash nutmeg
• generous tsp of black pepper
• sea salt to taste
• 2 c  spinach, finely chopped
• 2/3 c leftover cooked rice
• 2 c kale, de-stemmed and finely chopped
• 1 c carrots, chopped
• 1/3 c butternut squash, diced
• 1/2 medium onion, diced
• 3 cloves garlic, chopped
• 1 heaping tbs pesto or chopped basil
• 1/4 c almond meal or sliced almonds

Whisk eggs, yogurt, nutmeg and salt/pepper until frothy. Chop spinach and kale into fine threads, and dice carrots, squash and onion (or whatever veggies you have on hand) into chunks. Chop garlic. Stir veggies, garlic, rice and basil (or other fresh herbs – dill, basil, sage, parsley, whatever) slowly into wet mixture and pour into greased casserole dish.  Top with almond meal or sliced almonds and bake for 20 minutes on 350 degrees. Edges should be crisp and and brown.
Quinoa cookies

• 3/4 cup whole wheat flour
• 1 tablespoon sea salt
• 1/2 tablespoon baking powder
• 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
• 1 teaspoon ginger powder, cinnamon, clove powder and/or nutmeg
• 1/2 cup coconut oil
• 1/4 cup brown sugar
• 1/2 cup agave nectar
• 2 large eggs
• 1 tablespoon vanilla extract
• 1 cup cooked quinoa (I use tri-colored quinoa because it’s pretty)
• 1 cup rolled thick oats
• 1/2 cup raisins
• 1/2 cup walnuts, crushed into small pieces

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Line two baking sheets with parchment paper. Mix flour, salt, baking powder, baking soda and desired spices in bowl and set aside. With a fork, whisk or electric mixer, beat oil, sugar, agave, eggs and vanilla for about 3 minutes. Add flour mixture and blend well. Stir in oats, quinoa, raisins and nuts. Spoon onto baking sheet in 2-inch balls about 1 inch apart. Bake for 15-20 minutes until brown on the edges.

Dear Shaina,

Sorry I haven’t written. I didn’t shrug off my commitment…I just had no idea what day it was!  I have been in a suspended universe, crossing states and time zones and climates without intention, finding myself a bit surprised as the new flora and fauna appeared through the windshield.

Beautiful Skies Everywhere

Billboards and neon signs announced the emergence of fast food restaurants, motels and souvenir shops…way stations for travelers…sprouting up on the edge of the highway like bustling ant colonies. Gas stations offered up bathroom breaks and a 100 different flavors of beef jerky (I am not kidding). Hampton Inns and random small-town family owned ethnic restaurants offered some comfort as we settled in for the night and played a little makeshift two-person mah jong. Despite the cultural and topographical diversity, the McDonalds and Walmarts and Motel 6’s reminded us of the common thread that binds this country from end to end, however loosely.

The days had no names and the times kept changing so I just gave up on tracking them. My watch remained on Birmingham time.

And Beautiful Sunsets

Our goal was uneventful. Arriving safely was our objective and we did it! We made it in five and a half days. Hardly bad-assed and no strangers in the backseat (it was way too full of stuff).  I am amazed at how quickly one can whip across this country in a car.  I am inspired to do it again and take more time to experience the nuances of the American dream.  I am also inspired to clean out all the crap in our house, for your sake, if nothing else!

As for exaggerating adventures, yours or mine, I am way too old for that.  I know that life follows you wherever you go…with all its choices, dilemmas, joys and complications.

Life is short and full. So…why not? Go for it…with my fullest blessing!  I am looking forward to helping you pack up (I’m a pro), driving to NY with you and sending you off on this next journey, just as I am already praying for your safe return. I still can’t believe you are going back to India! At least its only for four months so I wont feel compelled to visit you again…I have had quite enough experience with alternative bathroom facilities for a while.   I am looking forward to reading all your weird Indian recipes!

Glad to be Home

In the meantime, I also participated in a mega Shabbat gathering while in San Francisco. We enjoyed homemade challah, stuffed peppers, roasted Brussel sprouts and a veggie stew and I learned how to make a delicious Persian rice dish that I think you’ll love.  It’s full of fresh herbs and fava beans and is delicious plain or served as an accompaniment to stuffed peppers or veggie stew.

Enjoy it all!

Love,

Mom xoxooxoxoxooxoxoxooxoxoxoxooxoxxoox

Lily’s Persian Style Herbed Rice 

Serves 10 – 15

(It looks more complicated than it is!)

• 2 cups basmati rice (brown or white)
• 2-3 Tblsp of salt
• 1 bunch fresh cilantro
• 1 bunch fresh dill
• 1 bunch fresh Italian parsley
• 2 bulbs fresh garlic or 3 cloves regular garlic minced
• 1 bunch green onions
• 1 1/2 cup frozen fava beans (may substitute lima beans or edamame)
• 1/4″ canola oil to cover the bottom of the pot
• 2 tsp turmeric
• 2 or 3 small potatoes (Yukon gold or red) sliced in thin rounds to cover the bottom of the pot
• 1/2 tsp Saffron threads crushed and dissolved in 2-3 Tblsp butter or oil with a 1 tsp sugar
• Salt and pepper to taste

Rinse uncooked rice in cold water several times until water runs clear.
Bring a large pot of water with 2-3 tblsp of salt to a boil. (Make sure the pot is a heavy bottom pot.)
Add basmati rice to boiling water and boil rapidly for 10 minutes until rice is partially cooked.  Do not overcook.
Bring pot to the sink and pour the cold water over the rice to make the starchy water overflow.
Drain rice into a colander and set rice aside in a large bowl.
Chop all dill, parsley, cilantro, garlic and onions together in a food processor .
With a large spoon, mix together the drained rice and all the herbs and beans and toss loosely into a mound in a large bowl.
Grind together with a mortar and pestle 1/2 tsp saffron, 1/2 tsp turmeric and a 1 tsp sugar .
In a small bowl, melt 2-3 tblsp butter and mix ground spices into melted butter.

Put the heavy bottomed pot back onto the stove.
Add oil (enough to just cover the bottom).
Add 1 1/2 tsp turmeric to the oil and heat over medium heat while stirring.
Slice small potatoes into thin rounds and cover the oil on bottom of the pot with one layer of potatoes.
Toss all of the rice mixture into the pot covering the potatoes.
Poke 3-4 holes with the long handle of a wooden spoon into the mound of rice and pour the butter and saffron mixture down the holes.
Place about 3 layers of paper towels or a clean cotton kitchen towel over the top of the pot and then place the lid tightly over the pot.
Cook at medium heat for 8 minutes.
Turn the stove down to the lowest temperature it will go and steam for 35 more minutes.  Be careful to keep the temperature low so you don’t burn the potatoes.
To serve, scoop the rice out from the top of the pan being careful not to brake the crust on the bottom. Place in a serving dish.
Once all the rice is out except for the potato crust (tadig), carefully remove the potato crust from the bottom of the pot and flip the crust over placing it over the rice in the serving dish.

It should be golden brown and beautiful! Enjoy!

Dear mom,

Haven’t heard from you in awhile… Where are you? You’ve shrugged your commitment to our blog to play Thelma and Louise. I totally forgive you but you’ll have to excuse me for writing out of order.

I must say, your adventure sounds pretty badass. I know that right now you’re probably listening to some Jewish author on tape or talking to Jean about your children’s shared neuroses… but I’d like to imagine you two speeding down highways with strangers in the back seat and windows down.

I know you’re a good friend, but driving from DC to San Fran with Jean just to keep her company?

Your response: Why not?

I understand.

I’m leaving DC to go to India. Why not?

Just how I exaggerate your wild adventure with Jean, I’m sure you perceive my move as a turbulent, reckless leap. But it’s not. It’s not outlandish or deviant… It’s not even bold. It’s why not. I want to wake up in the morning and decide what I want to get out of my day… and then make it happen. Is that an outrageous desire? I’ve always wanted to work with artisans in some capacity and if not now – when I have no looming attachments or responsibilities – then when?

So when you’re imagining me wrapped in a silk sari, side-saddling a painted elephant among ancient temples, know that I’m probably on the side of a dusty road, arguing with a rickshaw driver over 5 cents and sweating through my kurta and balloon pants.

I recognize that the above 150 words justifying my decision to you scream insecurity… And yes, I guess I am nervous. I’m hesitant to leave behind my vitamix, the steady pace of office work, DC’s bike lanes, big Shabbat dinners in my dingy frat-style house, spinning classes and short dresses. But I can’t have it all.

Life is short and full.

As you know, the day you left DC, Arielle and I hosted our magnum opus of Shabbat dinners (thanks for helping tidy up my house before you headed off!).

We wined and dined over forty guests with a Russian themed meal and kept the party raging til 4 AM. Katie surprised us from Boston and David came from New York to celebrate our last Shabbat shabang… 7 out of 10 from our fellowship cohort were together! Unbelievable.

This was the menu:

Challah with poppy seeds
Knishes and Barekas (from you and Jean)
Cumin spiced borscht
Endive salad with cucumber, beets and horseradish dill dressing
Purple cabbage with apples and tofu (Jump To Recipe)
Kasha and varnishkas
Potato salad with creamy dill sauce, roasted tomatoes and peas
Lentil-stuffed cabbage – deconstructed over filo dough
Blinis topped with sour cherry cottage cheese
Sephardi fideos
Quinoa porridge with apricots and cherry juice
Spinach and mushroom fritata
Vodka

People ate. People drank. We went dancing.

It was a perfect beginning to my transition out of DC.

Hope you’re safe on the road.

xo,

Shaina

PS. Get excited for Indian recipes… Regardless of how dull or wild my trip turns out, my food-inspired letters won’t stop.

Purple Cabbage with Apples and Tofu… aka The Golden Purp

I named this cabbage dish after Arielle because who else would think to to unite caraway seeds and purple cabbage? We eat way too much of this stuff together… it’s super easy, healthy, cost effective and such a pretty purp! Plus, it’s on The Cleanse.

• 1 tbs olive oil
• 4 cloves garlic, chopped
• 8 oz of firm tofu, sliced into one inch pieces

• 1 tbs olive oil
• 1 onion, chopped
• 1 tbs carraway seeds
• 1tsp allspice
• 1 head purple cabbage, chopped
• 3 tsp sea salt
• black pepper to taste
• 1/4 c golden raisins
• 1 granny smith (or other tart) apple, chopped
• 1/3 c apple cider vinegar
• poppy or sesame seeds for garnish

Heat olive oil in skillet and add chopped garlic and tofu. Fry until golden brown and remove from skillet (place garlic and tofu in separate bowl). Then, saute onions with caraway seeds and allspice over low heat in olive oil until onions are translucent. Add chopped cabbage, salt and pepper and cover for about 2 minutes over low heat (cabbage should become tender, but remain crunchy). Then, add chopped apples and raisins and stir for 2 more minutes. Add apple cider vinegar and cover for one minute (the vinegar will turn the cabbage bright purple!). Remove from heat and stir in tofu and poppy seeds. Enjoy immediately over brown rice (and yogurt) for a hearty winter meal. It will stay good for a few days, but beware: the raisins will soak up the juices and become bloated, which is scary and gross.

Dear mom,

Maybe we’re on different planets because mine tells me that 20s are supposed to be the best years of life. Us 20-somethings are free of weighty obligations and responsibilities… we are in our prime… the world is our oyster. We have opportunities at our fingertips and the spirits to grab them all.

It’s great. I have all the energy in the world to agonize over which opportunities to pursue, what part of the world to call my own, how I’ll spend the most prime Friday nights of my life. No patience for mah jong – no time for yoga.  Gahhh. Can you set a recurring alarm in your phone to remind me about the life’s a journey bit each week… I need to hear it on the regular.

I can’t tell you how relieved I am to hear that the 60s are where it’s at.

It’s freezing in DC and I’ve been making lots of soup. I live off these thick, hearty  and nutritious everything-in-a-pot soups. Packed with protein, vitamins and minerals, veggie soups are a perfect way to welcome 2013 (I tell myself that eating enough of it will remedy my Christmas/Chanukah cookie overdose).

The soups in this post  – and most others I make – are like my life. I need to cram EVERYTHING in. I start out with a basic lentil or vegetable soup, get bored or distracted and feel adventure calling … usually in the form of turmeric and ginger and coriander and whatever else I find in my house’s pantry. These are my life soups –  Lentil Life Soup and Green Life Soup – messy looking but really quite simple. It’s easy to get overwhelmed with the long list of ingredients (tell me about it), so I laid out the basics for you + a section for suggested additions.

What should I wear tonight and where is my life going?

Love ya,

Shaina

Lentil Life Soup

I make a huge pot to start off the week and spice up the leftovers to make different meals throughout. This may sound weird, but I like eating it with an egg on top for extra protein and B12. You can make a meal of either soups over rice and/or with a dollop of yogurt and some nuts. I’ll start out by sharing a basic recipe and then include some suggested additions.

The basics:

• 2 cups french lentils,  beluga lentils or other
• 1 tablespoon olive oil
• 2 large onions, chopped
• 5 large carrots, chopped
• 4 cloves garlic, chopped
• 1 tablespoon black pepper
• 1 tablespoon sea salt (plus or minus if you’re using veg broth or bouillon)
• 1 can diced tomatoes
• 2 cups water or vegetarian broth (I like to throw in a cube of vegetarian bouillon)
• 3 cups greens (spinach, kale, chard, collards or a combination), chopped
• 3 tbs balsamic vinegar or wine

Suggested additions:

• 6 stems Celery, chopped
• 2 cups butternut squash or 1 medium sweet potato, chopped
• 1 tsp cumin
• 1 tsp turmeric
• 1 tsp smoked paprika
• dash of chili powder or fresh chili, chopped
• 2 tbs balsamic vinegar
• parsley, scallions or cilantro to garnish
• dollop of plain or curried yogurt (recipe below), toasted walnuts, pumpkin seeds, or sunflower seeds to garnish

Bring 5 cups of water to a boil with lentils and cook for about 20 minutes. Drain once tender.

While you’re waiting, heat oil in soup pot and saute onion, salt, pepper and garlic until onions are translucent. If you choose to add other spices like cumin and turmeric, now is your time. Stir cumin with onions until seeds begin to pop. Add 2 cups water, tomatoes, carrots, lentils and other veggies and bring to simmer for about 20 minutes. Once all veggies are tender, stir in chopped greens for 1 -3 minutes. Taste and adjust seasonsings – get creative! Remove from heat and stir in balsamic vingar. Top with nuts, yogurt, fried egg, etc.

Curried yogurt topping:

• 1 cup plain yogurt
• dash of sea salt
• dash of black pepper
• ½ small onion, finely chopped

Combine ingredients and stir. Add chopped cilantro and toasted nuts for a special garnish to any soup or rice dish.

Green Life Soup

This is a creamy, thick soup dense with nutrients. I like to eat it when I feel a cold coming or when my tummy needs warmth. Try not to get overwhelmed by all the ingredients. And WARNING: Vitamin A overdose is real… I may be turning yellow.

• 1 tbs olive oil
• 2 large onions, chopped
• 1 tbs sea salt
• 3 cups water or veg broth/boulion
• 4 carrots, chopped
• 8 oz mushrooms, chopped
• 1 tbs fresh ginger, chopped
• 1 medium sweet potato, chopped
• 2/3 cup raw cashews
• 1 tsp turmeric, 1 tsp Indian curry powder, 1 tsp garam masala, dash of cayenne pepper
• 5 cloves garlic, chopped
• 1 tsp Coriander seed
• ½ tsp whole cumin seed
• ½ tsp mustard seed
• 2 pounds fresh spinach
• 1 tbs lemon zest
• Fresh juice of 1 lemon
• Parmesan cheese, plain yogurt or curried yogurt (recipe above) and toasted cashews for special garnish

Heat oil in soup pot and saute onion, and salt until onions are brown. Add 3 cups water, carrots, mushrooms, ginger, sweet potatoes and cashews. Add turmeric, curry powder, cayenne pepper and garam masala and bring to simmer for about 20 minutes. Meanwhile, in a separate pan, heat oil and stir in chopped garlic, coriander seed, cumin seed and mustard seed until garlic is brown and mustard seeds pop. Add to soup pot.  Once all veggies are tender, stir in spinach for about a minute. Taste and adjust seasonings – get creative! Remove from heat and blend until smooth (I use a handheld immersion blender – it’s so easy! You can also use a regular blender or food processor). Stir in lemon zest and lemon juice. Top with nuts, cheese, yogurt, fried egg, etc.

IF YOU DON’T HAVE ALL THE INGREDIENTS, DON’T WORRY! The essentials are spinach, onions, sweet potato, ginger, curry powder, lemon and cumin – everything else is just an added bonus.

Carrot Zinger

This is an adapted version of Deb’s Miso Carrot Soup that I found on smittenkitchen and made last winter. Yumm so gingery. I didn’t have miso this time around, so i used Bragg Liquid Aminos and a spoonful of rice vinegar instead. The vitamin A situation is out of control. My palms are turning yellow.

• 1 tbs olive oil
• 3 lbs carrots, chopped
• 8 cloves of garlic, peeled and chopped
• 2 – 3 large onions, chopped
• 2 inch piece of fresh ginger, chopped (more or less to taste)
• 1 tsp lemon zest
• 5 cups water mixed with vegetarian boullion or vegetable broth
• ¼ cup Bragg Liquid Aminos (or soy sauce)
• 1 tbs rice vinegar
• small dash of cayenne pepper
• 1 tbs sesame oil
• 4 tbs sesame seeds, toasted
• ¼ cup cilantro, chopped

Heat olive oil in a deep soup pot. Add onions and stir until cooked through. Reduce heat and stir in carrots and garlic until the garlic is browned. (about 10 minutes). Add vegetable broth, pieces of ginger, and  lemon zest, and simmer, covered, until carrots are soft (about 30 minutes). Stir soup occasionally throughout.
Puree soup with an immersion blender (best tool ever) or food processor. Stir in Braggs amino acids or soy sauce, rice vinegar,  cayenne pepper.  Top with sesame oil, sesame seeds and chopped cilantro (and yogurt if you want!) and serve over brown rice for a warm, healthy, hearty winter meal.

Dear Shaina,

Yep…you upped the gross factor!  But I did love reading about the shechting process.  And it is very much about the process..just as life is.  Doesn’t so much matter where you go, but how you get there.  I do have to say the Chanukah cookies with the green avocado sesame glop didn’t look so appetizing either. Especially juxtaposed to the bloody goat slaughter description. I am in shock that you actually tasted goat! You, who has never even had a McDonalds hamburger in your life! What did it taste like? The thought of anything goat grosses me out.  I am the only person I know, except for your Dad, who even hates goat cheese.

As far as your child rearing advice…It is every mother’s greatest pleasure to say to their child “I cant wait until you have children of your own!” Because I’ll be watching…

Anyway, I am in the midst of getting ready for the annual Christmas trek to Dad’s family in South Carolina.   I just bought a turkey to prepare for dinner in S.C. Last night I made a squash casserole, Chocolate/almond Cheesecake (an annual request) and a no sugar added, gluten free apple crisp. We are stopping at the farm on the way to pick some kale for you so you can get your fix of fresh greens and turnips.

Have Cheesecake…Will Travel!

Trite as it sounds, its hard to believe another year has flown by. The years really do seem to pass exponentially faster as you get older.  The last time I made a cheesecake was a year ago…for the Shealy Christmas dinner.  You had just started your job…can you believe a year already? Next month, it will be two years since I retired.  It doesn’t seem possible…and I haven’t even started cleaning out the closets!

I am beginning to understand why people my age say that these are the best years of your life.  If you are fortunate enough to have lived to this age, you know how quickly your time on this earth passes.  You are finally free from the fantasies of what you thought life would or should be.  And your true wants become crystallized as you fill the new-found space in your life with family, friends and activities that nurture your mind (mah jong), fortify your body (yoga) and enrich your soul (cooking, writing, sharing, loving, thinking, praying and being grateful).  No more wasted worries, punishing judgments or chasing somebody else’s dreams.

Life is good! I know how little time is left and I aim to make the most of it…even if I leave you with a lot of overstuffed closets!

Have a safe flight and we’ll see you very soon, greens and veggies in hand!

Love,

Mom
Xooxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

SQUASH CASSEROLE

This very easy recipe is a variation on a Southern tradition. There is a lot of room for modification based on tastes and dietary needs. Any cheese will work.  Sauteed mushrooms and green onions can be added to the basic squash mixture before baking.  Garlic, basil, tarragon, dill or Indian spices can be added to give a unique flavor to this basic squash casserole recipe.   It freezes and travels well, feeds a crowd and makes a great brunch dish.

Ready to Pop in the Oven

BASIC CASSEROLE

• 5 pounds (about) of yellow crook necked squash cut up in large chunks
• 3 carrots cut in large chunks
• 1 – 2 onions quartered
• 2 TBLSP butter (room temp) + 1 TBLSP for casserole dish
• 1 ½ cups shredded sharp cheddar cheese
• ½ Cup sour cream or plain Greek yogurt (low fat is fine)
• 3 eggs, lightly beaten
• Vegetable Bouillon (optional)
• Salt, pepper

TOPPING

• 1 cup bread crumbs, plain or seasoned (or ground up crackers, corn flakes or favorite savory crumb topping)*
•  2 TBLSP melted butter
• ¾ cup shredded sharp cheddar cheese (more or less as desired)

Gluten-Free Nut Topping

*For a gluten-free topping, substitute your favorite chopped nuts and ground up rice crackers or other gluten-free crackers

DIRECTIONS
Place cut up squash, carrots and onions in a large pot filled with salted (or use veggie or chicken flavored soup powder) water to barely cover veggies.

Boil water and cook veggies until tender.

Drain cooked squash and veggies thoroughly.  (I save the seasoned drained liquid and use it as a base for homemade soup. If you have no plans to make soup, put it in a container and freeze it for the next time you do.)

Preheat oven to 350°

Blend while hot

Put hot drained vegetables in a large bowl and use a stick blender to chop and blend the onions carrots and squash until they are the consistency of coarse baby food (in fact, if you have a baby, take some out at this point and reserve for baby).

Add 2 TBLSP of butter to the hot veggies and stir in until melted.

Add Cheese

Add shredded cheese and thoroughly mix in.

Add sour cream or yogurt and mix in.  Taste for seasonings and add salt, pepper or optional spices to taste.

Mix in lightly beaten eggs.

Place 1 TBLSP of butter in a 9” x 13” glass baking pan or other large casserole baking dish. Preheat in oven until butter is melted and slightly browned.

Mix all topping ingredients together.

Pour squash mixture into heated buttered baking dish.  Top with topping mixture and bake for 45 minutes or until casserole is set and topping is browned.  If topping is browning too quickly, cover with foil.

If you plan on freezing and reheating, cook for 30 minutes without topping.  Cool and freeze.  When you are ready to serve, defrost thoroughly.   Add topping and bake at 350° for 30 – 45 minutes.

BASIC APPLE CRISP

No Sugar Added
Gluten-Free

• About 5 pounds of your favorite apples, peeled, cored and sliced (¼” thick)
• ½ – ¾ cup of raisins or currants
• Zest and juice of 1 orange
• 1 tsp vanilla extract
• ½ tsp almond extract
• 1 – 2 TBLSP ground Cinnamon (or to taste)
  

  For dessert or Breakfast!

TOPPING

• 1 Cup rolled oats
• 1 Cup chopped walnuts
• 1 TBLSP melted butter
• Cinnamon to taste

Preheat oven to 350°

Mix cut up apples, raisins, zest, juice, spices and flavorings in a very large bowl until all flavors and ingredients are blended.

Put 1 TBLSP of butter in a deep 9”x13” casserole dish and heat in oven until butter is melted and slightly browned.

Mix together all topping ingredients a small bowl.

Spoon fruit mixture into heated, buttered casserole dish as full as possible to the limit of the dish.  The apples will shrink as they cook.

Top with topping mix.

Place in oven for about an hour until apples are thoroughly cooked and juices at bottom of pan are bubbly and topping is browned.  If topping browns too quickly, turn oven to 325° halfway through the baking time.

This dish freezes well.

It makes a great dessert warm and served with ice cream  or whipped cream  I love it for breakfast served with plain Greek Yogurt.