Dear Shaina,

Loved your letter and recipes and your total engagement with your life, despite the stress. I am also feeling the speed of the days flying by, even though, I technically have “nothing” to do!

My newest obsession also has to do with APPLEs, just not the pick-off-the-tree and eat kind.  I am seduced by my new MAC Pro laptop.   I can’t say its been the easiest of relationships, but the more I get to know it … well, I may actually fall in love. Learning new things, especially when they involve technology, is totally time-sucking and HARD! I am at the Apple Store for training almost every other day when I am in town.   I know almost all the trainers, where the bathroom is and… some really cool things I can do with my MAC.  And I just purchased a new camera which I also have no idea how to use. I have decided that I am going to spend all my time learning new technology, just to prove I can! That is, unless I have a mah jong game.  I do have my priorities!

Next week is November already!  Thanksgiving is practically here.  We are expecting about 40 this year (OMG)! I keep reminding myself that I used to do this and work 50 hours a week…so Thanksgiving should be a breeze this year.

Although Turkey is standard Thanksgiving fare, for me, it’s about the soup. I like to serve soup as an appetizer to warm up people while waiting for everyone to arrive.  My favorite is Mushroom Barley Soup; hearty, healthy and part of the tradition.  I always make a second soup just in case someone hates mushrooms.  I am big on having options so everyone’s happy.

Not sure what I will do for the second soup this year, but I did make some very healthy and easy cauliflower soup last week.  It was good, but a lot of people hate cauliflower so I may reserve that for family only (they’ll eat anything).  I am including the recipe because I liked it and I think this recipe could be easily adapted to other vegetables.

One more thought; I noticed that you had no pictures of yourself in the apple orchard last week. Ordinarily, it wouldn’t have been an issue because you usually only post pictures of food.  But it stood out for me because you did put in Arielle’s picture, which I loved, but you were missing.  If I were reading your blog and didn’t know you, I would think Arielle was you. It was odd to me because you put so much of your heart and your passion into this blog, yet you are invisible in a visual sense. I know that, on some level, invisibility is comfortable for you. You have nudged yourself beyond your comfort zone in so many areas, yet invisibility seems to have a stronghold on you.  I thought about your earnest quest to find yourself, to search for your path in life, to honor your urge to go for it, what ever it is…and all I kept thinking about was ‘what is lost cannot be found unless it is visible.’    I challenge you to practice visibility.

I better get back to my recipes so I can get to bed.  I loved our day at the beach and I look forward to hearing about the adventures you are sure to have the rest of this weekend.

Love,

Mom      xoxoxoxxoxoxoxoo

COMFORT IN SOUP

Making Soup is one of the easiest and comforting food items to prepare.  For one, soup recipes are very forgiving and provide lots of room for personal preferences and tastes.    These Soups are heart healthy, vegetarian, gluten free, and can be made using little or no fat. There is nothing like a steaming hot bowl of soup to warm up a cold day and nurture family and friends.

The quantities noted in these recipes are very flexible. Taste frequently and adjust to your taste.  Start off with the biggest pot you own as the soup tends to grow as you adjust flavors and ingredients.  Soup freezes well and is a treat to pull out of the freezer on a cold winter night.

Mushroom Barley Soup

• 

  Raw Pearl Barley

  1 ½  cup pearl Barley

• 1 large onion diced
• 2 carrots diced
• 4-6 cloves of fresh garlic minced
• 1 stalk celery, chopped
• 1 – 2 lbs sliced mushrooms
• drop of olive oil
• vegetarian soup broth
• 1 Tblsp oregano
• 1 Tblsp basil
• Salt and plenty of black pepper to taste

Cook barley according to directions and do not drain or rinse after cooking. Sauté  onion, carrots, garlic and celery in a drop of olive oil in a large soup pot.

Add 1 to 2 pounds of sliced mushrooms to the soup pot and continue sautéing until all vegetables are tender, but not soft.

Add 4 to 6 cups of water seasoned with vegetarian broth. Add the cooked barley with the liquid to the soup pot. Add the seasonings, salt and pepper. Simmer until flavors have blended.  Adjust seasonings and ingredients to taste.

More barley if you like thicker soup, more water for thinner.  More (or less) carrots or onions or garlic to taste. This soup tastes better the longer it cooks and even better the next day.

Optional: A splash of soy sauce or balsamic vinegar can be added.

*If you don’t want to use any oil, just add all raw vegetables including the mushrooms to the cooked barley with with water, spices and vegetarian broth and cook until done.

**I used white button mushrooms, baby portobellas and even added some enoki mushrooms this year.  Vary the amount and type according to your preference.

Cauliflower Soup

• 1 large onion, diced
• 3-4  cloves garlic, minced
• 3 shallots, sliced
• 1 tsp olive oil
• 1 head of fresh cauliflower broken into chunks
• Salt and black pepper to taste

Shallots

Sauté onions, garlic and shallots in a tsp of olive oil in the soup pot until slightly translucent. Put entire head of cauliflower broken into chunks into the pot. Add just enough water to barely cover the cauliflower.

Add salt and pepper.

Vegetarian or Chicken flavored bouillon can be used instead of salt.

Cook until cauliflower is soft and cooked through.

Remove from heat.  Using a stick blender or food processor, blend all vegetables in the pot until you have a creamy white puree.  Adjust seasonings.  If soup is too thick, add a little water.

Simmer and adjust seasonings to taste.

Serve hot and garnish with cut up green onions.

Can be frozen.

If cauliflower is not your thing, butternut squash can be substituted or try a combination of yellow squash and sweet potatoes.  Experiment with adding other spices and enjoy!

Dear mom,

I don’t have time to write this letter. I’ve been totally crazed at work and somehow my personal obligations have picked up.  I’m writing, auditing two classes, making new friends, doing my job… so this letter will be brief. My eye is still twitching (2 months!), my supervisor (who I share an office with) caught the eye twitch, and Arielle’s eye just started to spasm.

It’s something in the air.

This transition to fall has been the weirdest. The leaves have turned and nighttime starts early, but every other day is a different season.  Right now I’m wearing shorts and a t-shirt. Yesterday I was wearing a fleece jacket and boots. Global weirding.

I’m dedicating this post to the apple because it is my autumn marker this year.  Just like tomatoes kept me present this summer…. now, in autumn, apples are my rock. As global warming/weirding takes it’s toll, I’ve become more dependent on food to mark the seasons.

Anyway… they say an apple a day keeps the doctor away, but what about three or four apples a day? Apples in yogurt, apples in oats, apples in rum, apples in salads; apples roasted, apples pureed, apples boiled (only when I’m sick). And so many different kinds! My recipes for this post all include apples…  I hope they will inspire you to crunch and munch away!

Fall is exciting. It’s fresh and new. I’m starting to feel like the world has something for me to find, and the overwhelming lost-ness that I was feeling this summer is transforming into a streamlined GO GET IT,  girl. And even though I still don’t know what “it” is, I still feel pulled towards… it.

We went apple picking

For example (not quite sure if this is an example?), last night Arielle and I changed all the furniture in our house. Our dining room is now our living room and vise versa. We had been talking about it for long and our house couldn’t come to a consensus about our unified feelings. But last night we just did it. And it’s amazing. I’m blaming the fall air.

Changing the furniture changed my life. I can’t wait to eat breakfast in our new dining room with light streaming in from the windows.
And now I need to wrap up this letter and get this posted so I can move onto my next project.

So here’s to apples. And the things we make with them.

Hope you enjoy these apple-licious recipes! They’re all on the cleanse!

Love,

Shaina

Charred October Slaw

• 1 c dry quinoa
• 2 c Roasted Moroccan Carrots with Raisins (recipe below)
• 1/2 c chopped cilantro
• 1/2 c chopped arugula (or other greens)
• Sea salt to taste
• Black Pepper to taste
• Crushed roasted almonds for garnish
• 1 c Apple relish (recipe below)

Dear Shaina,

Well, your Dad and I fell off the “cleanse wagon” for real this past weekend in New Orleans. But “cleanse consciousness” was never far from our minds as we made the lesser-of-the-evils kinds of food choices throughout the weekend.

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We knew we were up for a challenge when we got on the ferry to Gretna (the site of Beast of the Southern Wild) to attend the Gretna Music Fest.  Most people on the boat looked older, grayer and significantly larger than us.  I’m not judging…I’m just sayin… The baby-boomers have arrived and they are partying hearty! The Gretna Fest, aside from music, features the most extensive array of fried delicacies you can possibly imagine …the usual powdered sugar coated doughy fried fair food along with fried turkey legs, fried shrimp, fried fish, fried chicken, fried Oreos, fried peanut butter and jelly sandwiches (I am not kidding!).

NOLA has a culture and essence like no other city I have ever been in and it always leaves me a little sad and bewildered.

So much of the French Quarter seems weary and worn to the bone. Hundred year old homes stand steady with peeling paint and last year’s faded mardi gras adornments still hanging on to windowsills and door frames in anticipation of next year’s new set of beads and feathers and voodoo dolls.  A couple blocks away is the familiar Bourbon Street bouquet of alcohol, cigarettes and vomit mingling with the throngs of Saints fans, convention goers and street people… Gentrification never quite made it to the Quarter…or maybe it has come and gone.   Even much of the art feels too bright, too harsh, too distorted  – as if its subjects have been pushed beyond the boundaries of their natural form. But that is NOLA. Another slice of life. I don’t think it’s going to make our top ten list of places we would like to live someday.

Of course, we had our share of pleasure and partying, too.  We saw old friends, went to the Art For Arts Sake annual art galleries event, heard great music (even did a little dancing) and ate incredible food!  We ate at a quasi vegetarian restaurant where I had a  Freekah Salad made with Freekeh grain, a tasty cold smoked “green grain” I had never heard of before.  I haven’t been able to find it here, but if you happen to come across it in D.C., buy me some. Dad had bread pudding with apples and a whiskey sauce at Brunch one day. My ever-present “cleanse conscious” brain immediately thought about how I could make some form of this pudding using oatmeal instead of bread. I was ready for a little more “cleanse” healthy take on life by that point.

In the few days that we were away, it seems like the summer ended and fall arrived with cool nights and kamikaze acorns falling from the trees onto our deck.  I went straight from the airport to the Asian store to buy fresh veggies. I didn’t even unpack before I got out my big pot and started cutting up vegetables to make my first fall pot of soup.

Two things  about me and soup: 1.) I can’t make a small pot of soup. 2.) There really is no such thing as a recipe for soup.  But I did write down the basic ingredients.  The problem is, I just keep adding stuff that I find in the frig or think of in the middle of the night.  So the Black Bean soup of yesterday is now a Chipotle Chile Black Bean soup.  It is cleanse friendly, of course, and can be garnished with plain Greek yogurt and cilantro or just a little grated fresh parmesan cheese.  It’s going to be lunch for mah jong group tomorrow, along with a green salad and fresh fruit.

I am also including my experimental Oatmeal Pudding concoction.  It will never be a true Bread Pudding dessert recipe (although Dad did pour some amaretto and cream over his), but it would make a healthy Brunch dish  as the weather cools down.

I know we’ll see you soon when you come for Dani’s wedding, but I am really excited that you will be home for Thanksgiving, which will be here before we know it.  Preparing for Rosh Hashana in the kitchen with you was nothing less than a spiritual experience for me.  And I cant wait to do it again for Thanksgiving!

Hope you enjoy these recipes – they’re both very forgiving dishes and the ingredients are only a starting point – Enjoy experimenting and adding your own tastes and touches!

Love,
Mom
oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Black Bean or Chipotle Black Bean Soup

Start with a very large soup pot and sauté the following lightly a Tblsp of olive oil.

• 2 Large Onions chopped
• 1 T chopped fresh garlic (about half a bulb)
• 1 Cup chopped carrots

Add to the pot

• 4 Cups water
• 2 tsp sea salt

Cook until carrots are soft and add:

• 2 to 3 cups of cooked Black beans with a little of the liquid from the beans (canned black beans can be used, but precooked dried ones are better)

Then, add:

• Four 14oz cans of diced tomatoes (overripe fresh tomatoes can also be added after peeling)
• 1 Tblsp oregano (or to taste)
• Black pepper
• A handful of chopped fresh basil
• 2 Cups Chopped Bok Choy
• 1/2 Cup raisins

Cook until all veggies are done and flavors blended. Seasonings and ingredients can be adjusted to taste. Add more beans if you like a thicker soup or more water and seasonings for a soupier variety.
At this point, you have basic Black Bean soup.  Garnish with grated parmesan or cheddar cheese.

To make Chipotle Chile Black Bean Soup add:

• 1 tsp of Chipotle Chile powder and cumin to taste.

Taste frequently and adjust seasonings.  I added more Bok Choy after adding the Chipotle Chile powder.  It always tastes better the next day when all flavors have  cooked together.

This makes a huge pot of soup.  Enjoy some now and freeze some for later.

Oatmeal Pudding Casserole

Sauce

Cook the following ingredients in a sauce pan until soft and mushy.

• 1 overripe pear cut up in small pieces
• 1 overripe banana (I always freeze my overripe bananas in the peel so I have them whenever I need them)
• 3/4 C fruit juice from a fresh pineapple or orange
• 2 Tblsp cashew butter

Add

• 2 chopped apples

to the sauce and cook until apples are tender, but not mushy: (about 10-15 minutes)

Meanwhile, mix together in a large bowl:

• 1 1/2 Cup uncooked rolled oats
• 2 Cups cooked (liquidy) steel cut oats
• 2 Cups plain organic yogurt

Let stand for 15 minutes

Then add the following to the oatmeal mixture and mix thoroughly:

• The cooked apple/banana/fruit juice mixture
• 4 cut up ripe bananas
• 1 cup raisins
• 1 Fresh apple cut up
• 1/2 tsp grated whole nutmeg
• 1 Tblsp ground cinnamon
• 1 Tblsp vanilla

Adjust seasonings for taste. You can add brown sugar, honey or agave  if you like a sweeter oatmeal, but the fruit adds plenty of sweetness.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Pour oatmeal mixture into a casserole dish greased with 1 tsp walnut oil. Top with chopped walnuts, raisins and additional cinnamon. Bake mixture for 30 minutes or more (until apples are tender).

This is a great way to clean out your pantry of dried/ripe fruits, nuts, grains, etc.

Can be served warm or at room temperature – Garnish with greek yogurt or brown sugar.

Dear mom,

Thanks but no thanks for the steering wheel recipe – I’m sure I’ll use it eventually, but for now I’m sticking to the cleanse. Plus, steering wheels are my cousins’ favorites, not mine. It’s a delicious cookie – our family’s most popular – and it does make me nostalgic for dessert time with the cousins. But my body and spirit feel transformed, and I want to adhere to the cleanse as best I can.

Jump To Recipe

I couldn’t control myself. I even kept a zip-lock baggy with me at all times in order to collect samples for later instead of shoving them in my mouth on the spot. But I still ate my weight in cliff bars, flavored kale chips and fair trade chocolate.

I’m embarrassed

The zip-lock strategy (the baggy is currently in my freezer holding bits of random granola bars, raw crackers, chocolate pieces, hemp seeds, etc) was just the start of it. Again, I have no shame. At the festival, there were areas designated for staff and volunteers to grab an apple, orange or bagel throughout the weekend. Every time I went to fill up my water bottle, I grabbed an apple. Every time I passed the booth, I grabbed an apple. Every time I was bored, I grabbed an apple. They were beautiful and free and abundant and before I knew it my backpack wouldn’t zip all the way.

What is that about? I’ve certainly never experienced starvation or lack of food. But time and again, I find myself collecting food in baggies and jars and tupperware, saving even the smallest scraps for later. A few days ago I put on a sweater I hadn’t worn since last winter and there were cashew pieces in the pockets. I’m blaming Bubbe.

I sorely missed the cleanse throughout the weekend. It’s funny how all the foods at the festival were marketed as healthy while they’re all just processed mush with tons of sugar. How can we even call that stuff food? The cleanse made me hyper aware of how foods react with my body. I feel sugars enter into and fizzle from my bloodstream – eating a piece of cake gives me a powerful rush of energy that I hadn’t been conscious of before.  I’m so glad to hear that you and dad enjoyed our little experiment. My favorite quote from the experience was dad’s:

The cleanse has helped me with my music. Chewing more slowly helps me to hold the keys down longer on each note; savoring the sound, like savoring each bite of food longer. Keeping each bite of food in your mouth longer to savor the taste is like keeping each note in your ear longer without changing the tempo. Really tasting and really listening, being more sensual, enhances both experiences for oneself and the people around you. In my case it makes being around me when I’m eating or playing simply more tolerable.

Lol.

After filling myself with quick, processed sugars throughout the festival, I felt an urgency to go back on the cleanse. In order to re-balance and take a breather from the busy weekend, I prepped loads of fruits and veggies for the week. My time standing over the cutting board was hypnotic. I cut up the pounds of collected apples and roasted them with cinnamon, vanilla, lemon juice and lemon zest. After they were browned, I baked them in a crisp underneath pumpkin seeds, flax, oats and a bit of coconut oil. This time, hoarding was a good decision.

It feels so much better to eat cleanly.

love,
Shaina

Green Pancakes with Spicy Chutney:

Mung Beans

This recipe is adapted from eatwritethink.com. I was so excited to see this healthy, protein-rich twist on the classic Indian breakfast of chapati. The pancakes were too dense the first time I made them, so I made a few alterations to make them lighter. If you prepare the batter in advance, this a quick, rich and healthy way to start the day! In Gujarat, where most people stick to a strict vegetarian diet, everyone raved about the health benefits of mung beans – fiber, protein, minerals – it’s like steak for vegetarians. I had neighbors who brought me big bowls of kichdi (mung beans and rice) every night around 11pm for dessert, claiming that it would help with digestion and overall health.

And, of course, this meal is on the cleanse!

Pancake batter:

• 1 C green mung beans
• 1/2 tsp cumin
• 1 onion, chopped
• salt
• cayenne pepper or fresh chili
  to taste
• 3 or 4 curry leaves
• half cup water

Dried chilis from Arielle. Beauty.

Spicy Chutney:

• 1 carrot
• 1 cucumber
• 1/2 cup plain yogurt
• handful (about 8) walnuts (you can substitute any nuts.. I used cashews the first time and it turned out delicious!)
• chili flakes
• small onion
• salt
• cumin
• cilantro for garnish

Soak the mung beans for 3-4 hours or overnight. Blend them with all ingredients until runny green paste coagulates (I used frozen curry leaves, and before I added them to the mixture I heated them in oil to bring out the flavor). The paste should be blended well, but will still be a bit gritty.

Add all chutney ingredients into food processor and puree. Then, garnish with cilantro for freshness.

When you’re ready for a healthy breakfast, heat a small drop of oil in a pan or skillet.

Pour mixture onto pan and smooth into a thin layer depending on desired crispness (the thinner, the crispier). Like making crepes, this may take a few tries before you get it just right.

Serve with chutney and eat with your fingers – right hand only, India style!

Clean Roasted Apple Crisp:

For filling:

• A lot of apples, throw in pears if you have them
• zest and juice of two lemons
• zest and juice of one orange
• 1 tsp fresh cardamom
• 1 tsp clove powder
• 2 tbs cinnamon
• 2 tbs vanilla

For topping:

• 1/3 c pumpkin seeds
• 1/2 c oats
• 1/4 c flax meal
• 1 tbs coconut oil
• sprinkle of sea salt

Cut apples into small chunks. I used a variety of apples (I’d been collecting them from several sources :)) so that I’d have different flavors and textures. I also threw soem pears in the mix with also added taste and texture variety. Mix apples with spices, 1 lemon and orange, and spread evenly onto cookie sheet or oven tray. Roast on 450 degrees for 30 minutes or until browned and crispy on the edges (but still mushy in the middle).

Once roasted, put apples into baking dish and add additional juice of one lemon. Combine “topping” ingredients and cover apples with mixture. Bake at 350 degrees for 30 – 40 minutes.

Serve with greek yogurt for a rich desert… or with yogurt and oats for a filling breakfast.

Dear Shaina,

I am typing on my new MAC PRO – way too much machinery for me.  I had my first one-to-one class today and actually learned how to download all my pictures and even understand a few things about the mysterious cloud. Now, if I could just learn how to take decent pictures.  If its any consolation to you, my videos are worse!

Jump To Recipe

Its been a tough week…hard to imagine that its been only a week. Gail came home from the hospital today and is healing well from her surgery although she still has a long way to go and there are still more questions to be answered.  All in all, we are feeling very fortunate.

I ran into a friend at the grocery store before the holidays and she said to me, “I am not wishing anyone a ‘Happy New Year’ this year.  I am wishing everyone a ‘Healthy New Year’ because if you are healthy, then you will have happiness”.  As I sat in temple all day yesterday and prayed for good health for all the people I love and care about, those words certainly rang true.

And once again, I am in the midst of a caring community that knows that food is the first line of defense – whenever there is a need for healing and nurturing and care giving. It is a way of doing something when the world ‘smacks us upside the head’ and reminds us that we have no control and that every day is a blessing to be cherished. Sorry for the schmaltz, but it’s just where I am. So, I am coordinating meals and working on schedules and doing whatever mundane things I can do to be helpful because …that is all that I can do.

I do want to say that I think the cleanse has changed the way your father and I experience food. We both felt so satisfied and healthy on the cleanse.  It was like our tastebuds woke up.  We talked about breaking the cleanse at the Break-the-Fast after temple and both of us were excited and hesitant about letting go of the cleanse-glow.  I wanted the potato knishes and Dad couldn’t wait for the desserts…and both were delicious, but the odd thing was…they didn’t give us the kick we thought they would after so many days of “deprivation.”  In truth, I wanted more lemon scented quinoa with kale and roasted tomatoes and crunchy pumpkin seeds (my favorite dish of the week).  So Shaina, thank you for this New Years gift…this cleanse experience really is a gift that reminds us daily to care about our bodies… and right now, that feels like a major gift!

Needless to say, I haven’t had much of a chance to do any new cooking this week.  But I have done a little reminiscing.

I was asked to make a dessert for a party last week and I wanted to make those chocolate cookies that Gail always makes that people love.  I actually originally made those cookies years ago from a recipe I found in a Bon Apetit magazine for Colossal Cookies.  I made them one night for Shabbat dinner.   And just as the recipe had instructed, I made them about 3-4 inches in diameter and they were ‘colossal’.

At the time, Daniel was about 3 years old and already had a taste for chocolate.  He picked up a cookie and said, “These are HUGE! They look like ‘steering wheels’.  Hence, ‘Steering Wheel’ cookies were born and are known by all far and wide as “Steering Wheels” regardless of their size.

Over the years, I lost the original recipe and Gail found another recipe that seemed to be equally satisfying. I got her recipe and made them for the party, but I was still bugged that I couldn’t find the original.  I searched through all my scraps of recipes and found a few errant pages from the Bon Apetit magazine, but no “Gobs of Chocolate” (the original name for these cookies) recipe.  I was crushed!  But, I did learn that the recipe was published in the September 1987 issue (before you were born… in fact, I was just barely pregnant) of Bon Apetit.

To make a long story short, I got all 12 issues of Bon Apetit from 1987 on EBay for $8.00 and they came today!

I know it’s not exactly on the cleanse…which I just went on and on about…but who says I can’t be a little fickle.

Life is pretty fickle…and pretty darn short..so enjoy these original STEERING WHEELS!

All my love,
Mom
xoxooxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxxooxox

P.S.
I realize that I didn’t really respond to your letter in my last letter.   There was so much going on here that I couldn’t focus.  Things have calmed down.  Gail is healing well and her prognosis is good.

Now that I have a few minutes, I do want to tell you how much your letter meant to me.  Having a child, especially a daughter, for me, has been one of the greatest gifts of my life. In truth, you could “yell” (get annoyed) at me all day long, in public or private, and it wouldn’t change my feelings for you  one iota. I actually have a much better understanding of Bubbe’s tolerance of all the “annoyedness” she had to put up with from me and I hope she has forgiven me for it.

I think that this letter correspondence thing is a good thing. When I got the “annoyed” letter, I had to stop and wait a few days to sort out my feelings and then think about what I wanted to say instead of my usual impulsive emotional over-reaction, which is even more annoying. I fully accept your apology and I look forward to many more years of annoying you. And hearing about it.

Sharing the kitchen with you as we prepared for Rosh Hashana was the best. Bubbe, and all the generations of Bubbes that we never had a chance to know, were there in the kitchen with us, marveling at the new twists on their old recipes and intrigued by the myriad of new flavors and foods being prepared for our holiday table.  They were there, kvelling watching our hands as they cut up garlic and onions and threw in a little more basil and mixed up huge shissels (Yiddish for large bowls that are too big to be called ‘large bowls’) of quinoa with kale.  Ingredients they never heard of, so different from the brisket and potatoes of their days…but they recognized the hands. They recognized the skill, the passion and the love in our hands…and so did I.

It wasn’t about “my way is better than yours.” It was about  merging the wisdom of yesterday with the spirit of today and creating a whole that is greater than the sum.  That is what we did in the kitchen this past Rosh Hashana…and I look forward to doing it again and again and again, with YOU …in my kitchen and in yours.

As we start the new year, I wish you health,  ever-evolving and fulfilled dreams, and days filled with life’s blessings.

Oh…and no more bad food pictures from your annoying mother!

All my love,
Mom
xoxoxooxoxoxooxoxoxooxox

Steering Wheels

• 1 3/4 cups all purpose flour
• 2/3 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 1/2 tsp baking soda
• 1/4 tsp baking powder
• 1 1/4 cups firmly packed light brown sugar
• 1/2 cup (1 stick) butter, melted and cooled
• 2 eggs
• 1/4 tsp vanilla ( i usually add a little more)
• 3/4 cup bittersweet chocolate chips
• 3/4 cup white chocolate chips
• 3/4 cup peanut butter chips (my addition..why not?!)

Position rack in center of oven and preheat to 350 degrees. line baking sheets with parchment paper. Combine first five ingredients into medium bowl. Using an electric mixer, beat sugar, butter, eggs and vanilla in a large bowl until light and fluffy.  Gently mix in dry ingredients, then all the white, chocolate and peanut butter chips.

Mound dough on baking sheet using 1/3 cup dough for each cookie and spacing 5 inches apart.  With moistened fingers, flatten each mound into a 3-inch round. Bake until cookies are puffed and cracked, 12 – 14 minutes.  Do not over bake.  Cool on a rack.

Dear mom,

In the spirit of Rosh Hashana forgiveness and my Esrei Yamim spiritual Cleanse, I’m sorry for “yelling” at you on our blog. Even though I wasn’t yelling.

You read too deep into my last letter… which you made pretty clear when I was home, carrying on about how I’m not nice in our internet communications blablabla. I didn’t intend to “yell.” I just wanted to express a tinge of annoyedness. So yeah – sorry. I didn’t mean it.

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Shlivovitz Shots… A Holiday Tradition

And really I so enjoyed being home for Rosh Hashana. The visit provided much needed familiarity and comfort. But my eye still hasn’t stopped twitching!! It’s been 12 days. I don’t understand.  Aside from the two days at the beach with you and dad and spending time with family and friends during the holiday, I admit that one of the best parts about being home was what was playing in the kitchen with you.

See… I did it. I said something nice.

But really, my visit home was such a luxurious trip. Our house is so full! Full of people, warmth and so much freaking stuff. You always brag, “If one of my friends ever needs to make a special trip to the grocery store, I tell them to come to my house first.”

You say the same thing about furniture, clothes and appliances. It’s sort of a problem. But your beyond-well stocked kitchen (8 varieties of sea salt, bulk pine nuts, unlimited chocolate chips!) almost made me want to move home. Such luxury! One of my favorite drawers in the kitchen is the Costco drawer (really we could call them all Costco drawers) that encases restaurant size rolls of saran wrap, foil and wax paper, and bulk zip lock bags. Jeez.

Costco Drawer

And I’m also so glad we got to go to the beach. It had been too long. How pathetic is it that it’s late September and I just got my first sunburn of the season? Stopping for boiled peanuts on the drive home was the perfect throwback.

My transition back to the “real world” hasn’t been as hard as I expected. I was dreading returning to the day-to-day grind of my life (is it possible for my days to be both uncertain and monotonous at the same time?) and feeling sad about leaving my comfy bed and childhood room. But I’ve had little time to think about all of that… I’ve kept busy with experiments and inventions in my own limited kitchen prepping for The Cleanse.

Last night, I used over half of the Costco bag of almonds you sent back with me. I made two versions of almond butter – in one I used raw almonds only and in the other I used almonds that I roasted with cinnamon and salt. They’re so different! I couldn’t fit all of the roasted almond butter into the tupperware I’d planned to use, so I left it in the vitamix and added a few of the dates and figs you sent back with me, unsweetened cocoa powder, oats, unsweetened coconut shreds, vanilla and walnuts. It was a total experiment. And guess what.

I broke the vitamix.

It just stopped working. How does that even happen?! I thought that the vitamix was made to handle anything! I’m hoping that it’s not broken… that it just overheated from too many nut pastes in one sitting. As we say in the south, it wo’ out.

The reason that I’m not too upset about it is because something amazing happened. Since the vitamix stopped working after the first 10 seconds my fudgy experiment, most of it got pureed, but a bunch of it was still left chunky. There are some walnut pieces and chewy oats that didn’t make it to the blade. And the result was so freaking yummy. So I added a bunch more oats and walnuts to make it even chunkier.

My favorite cookies in DC are dark chocolate salty oat cookies from Teaism, a restaurant in Dupont circle.. and these are the Cleanse version!The roasted almond butter binds all of the ingredients together, and the chunky remmnants add chewy deliciousness.

How is your cleanse going? Is dad sticking to it? I’m still waiting for the spiritual afterglow, but having too much fun eating and prepping. Pure food just feels better to eat! While trying to channel my gut/brain/spirit connection, I’m working hard not to force it…  waiting for my body to speak to my spirit, rather than leveraging my brain as an intervening interpreter. Dear brain, shhh.. stop stirring.

I’m sending you a few recipes that are all on the cleanse, including boiled peanuts because they are the perfect food for my homecoming nostalgia. And they’re on the cleanse (can you believe it?)!

I can’t wait to hear about your cleanse!

Love,
Shaina

Dark Chocolate Salty Oat CLEANSE Cookies

• 1/2 c roasted almond butter
• 4 tbs unsweetened cocoa powder
• 4 tbs unsweetened coconut shreds
• 2 pitted dates
• 2 dried mission figs
• splash of vanilla
• dash (or 2) of cinnamon
• 1/3 c water
• sea salt
• 1/3 c walnuts (chopped)
• 1 c oats

Combine roasted almond butter, cocoa powder, coconut shreds, dates, figs, vanilla, cinnamon, sea salt and water in food processor and blend until chunky paste forms (no need to run processor until all the lumps are out). Then, stir in oats and chopped walnuts. Form into cookie patties and let set in fridge for a few hours before serving.

But remember these cookies are dense – while healthy, they’re definitely not low-cal. Remember when I made the Sweet New Year ladoo balls? You saw how much oil those produced. These are similar.

For RAW dark chocolate salty oat cleanse cookies, substitute roasted almond butter for raw almond butter. I can’t promise the same result that come from the nutty roastedness of the almonds, but I’m sure they’ll be tasty.

Roasted and Raw Almond Butters

• Raw almonds
• sea salt
• cinnamon (optional)

Lay flat on cookie sheet and sprinkle with cinnamon and sea salt. Cinnamon brings out the sweetness of the nuts, but I only add a dash so that I can still use the butter in savory recipes. Place in oven for 20 minutes on 325 degrees, flipping the nuts at 10 minutes so that they don’t burn. Place in food processor, run until smooth, and hope for the best. For raw butter, skip the roasting step – Just place raw almonds, sea salt and cinnamon in food processor and puree until smooth.

Cleanse Almond Banana Treat

• 1.5 tbs roasted or raw almond butter
• 1 banana
• cinnamon, coconut shreds and/or cocoa powder (optional)

Cut banana in half vertically and sandwich almond butter inside. Wrap with foil and bake in oven on 375 degrees for 10 minutes. Sprinkle with cinnamon, coconut shreds and/or cocoa powder and enjoy!

Boiled Peanuts

• 1 pound unshelled GREEN peanuts
• 1/4 c sea salt or kosher salt
• 4 c water

optional seasonings: star anise, old bay, paprika

In the case of boiled peanuts, “green” means two things:
1. raw
2. fresh from the ground (not dried out)

The prep is simple. Place unshelled green peanuts, salt and water in large pot. Bring to boil. Maintain low boil for at least 3 hours or until peanuts are soft and mushy.

Dear Shaina,

Just got your out of order blog post and loved the recipes and the message.  I am moved by your depth and commitment and willingness to experience life in all of its dimensions.  I was just getting around to sending my response to your last post.

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I have to say I am relieved to get the Shabbat letter, not only because it is “nicer”, but really because it feels more like the authentic Shaina. I know you have many dimensions and I don’t begrudge you any of them, including your anger, even when its directed at me. But it is a relief to hear your more familiar self. In the meantime, I still need to respond to your Sept 7 letter.

I have read and reread my last letter to you, and yours to me, trying to understand your response which felt angry and unfair.  Perhaps I am not communicating well, or maybe you are reading more into my comments than I intend. I did not use angst as a label, but as a short hand description of what you most vividly described as your feelings these days. And I have no intent or need to try to throw any fixes at you.  In fact, I feel proud of your self-awareness and your ability to articulate your feelings… which is what I thought I was trying to communicate. But I obviously missed the boat on that one.

Of course you could have predicted my questioning of my life in Birmingham, as I could have predicted your questioning.  It’s a life process, something I’ve done most of my life… and something I expect you will also do throughout your life.

You think I had a clear vision in my 20’s? Hell no! I had dreams and hopes and yearnings and frustrations and lots and lots of uncertainties.  I was way more clueless than you.  I ultimately “fell into” this life, which wasn’t exactly the one I had in my “plans,” and I am continually amazed at how well it has all turned out despite the unexpected twists and turns. I was lucky to find love in my life, but not always sure I would, especially when I was your age.

What has become more clear over the years is the value of experiencing the moments….the good, the bad and the boring…while continuing to pursue those experiences that provide meaning, fulfillment and wholeness to your life…and always wrapping yourself in the love of family and friends.  Do I think we’re on the same page? Sort of…just very different stages of life, very different pursuits.  Am I concerned? Not at all. This is part of the experience of life, and I am glad you are having it.

So, just to be clear – this is not a pep talk.

I am not in the least trying to fix you. Nor am I the least bit concerned about where your life is going.  I actually think you do a pretty good job of balancing your “suffering” with pleasure and your stability and productiveness with risk-taking and adventure, with a little partying thrown in for fun.  So, go be angry at someone else.

Coming home from Oregon was a bit of a let down…heat, humidity, laundry and lots of bills and junk mail.  I am looking forward to relaxing at the beach and having some real-time conversations with you.  This little “just for fun” letter writing experiment is not so easy and not always so much fun either, so I am looking forward to some plain old talking it out.

I am also trying to get a little prepared for the holidays and starting to think about menus.  Since we’re going on the “cleanse” right after Rosh Hashana, I want to make some things that we can eat after our holiday meal.  I am thinking veggie chop liver (are eggs okay on the cleanse?), kasha with mushrooms and onions and a new Indian cucumber salad recipe.  Of course, I am going to make some of the traditional stuff also…Bubbe’s potato knishes, and maybe a kugel or two, and some apple crisp, of course.  Any requests? I’ ll send holiday recipes next time, when I figure out what I am doing.

Even the veggies are art in Portland

In the meantime, I got inspired to cook something delicious for dinner tonight.  We had so many creative, beautiful, unusual meals in Portland. So I tried something new tonight and it didn’t turn out quite how I wanted it to. But I am prepared to share a recipe with some modifications that I hope will produce better results.  It did look sort of pretty…even though my photos aren’t nearly as nice as yours.

I know we’ll be doing lots of shopping and cooking while you’re here and I am looking forward to cooking with you and watching you trash my kitchen.

Love,

Mom xoxoxooxoxoxooxoxoxooxox

Thai Cucumber Salad (modified with roasted eggplant)

Original Cucumber Salad

Dressing

• 1/2 c brown rice vinegar
• 2 stalks lemongrass ( white part only) sliced
• 2 tsp sugar or agave or splenda
• 1 tsp curry powder
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 2 cloves garlic

Finely chop and blend in a blender or food processor

• 4-5 small Persian cucumbers sliced
• 3 scallions thinly sliced diagonally
• 1/4 cup cilantro
• 1 jalapeño seeded and minced (optional)
• I added a little sweet red pepper sliced

Marinate sliced veggies in dressing 15 minutes

Final Outcome

before serving

• 1/4 cup chopped cilantro … More can be added to taste after eggplant is added
• 3/4 cup chopped peanuts for garnish

I made this recipe and the dressing was a little strong. I really was disappointed in the flavor and overall taste. I recommend using less jalapeño.  I happened to have an eggplant that I was planning on roasting.  I cut it up in cubes, mixed it up with a little oil and salt and pepper and roasted it in the oven on the convection bake setting at 375 degrees until the edges were browned and the eggplant was soft.  I ended up mixing the eggplant with the dressed cucumber salad and added a little fresh basil. I topped it all with chopped roasted peanuts. Adding the eggplant to this salad saved the day and made a very substantial and tasty veggie side dish.

Let me know what you think if you try it.

Dear mom,

As promised, here’s my out-of-turn post about our Shabbat dinner.

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Shabbat was a blast and first I want to show off our fancy menu:

Challah

*Chilled herby zucchini soup

*Massaged Kale with grilled orange peppers

*Porridge with grilled peaches in tahini herb sauce

Roasted tomato and corn chesapeake

*Curried quinoa with peas and cashews

*Gujarati eggplant

Bean salad with feta

Spinach and cheese frittata

Brownies

Followed by wine and vodka, I’d say the most popular dishes were the challah and frittata. I think when people are drinking and socializing, they veer from weird dishes heavy on the veggies. It’s too much effort to crunch, chew, swallow… and get drunk.

Arielle and I tried to stick with recipes suitable for the cleanse in preparation for our Esrei Yamim Clean experiment. Starred menu items above are “Cleanse” appropriate.

I know you know this, but for our readers…

Esrei Yamim is Hebrew for 10 days – it’s the term representing the ten days in between Rosh Hashana (the Jewish New Year) and Yom Kippur (the day of repentance).

Here’s what I remember from Jewish Day School: Esrei Yamim is the time in which God chooses who will live and who will die in the upcoming year – God opens the book on Rosh Hashana, and for the next ten days scribes the names of who will live. On Yom Kippur, the last of the ten days, God closes the book to seal the deal. That’s why we’re so desperate to pray during those last few hours before the sun goes down on Yom Kippur. We get down on our knees and beg God for forgiveness.

It’s tradition to repent, reflect and purify during Esrei Yamim. It’s also tradition to ask people for forgiveness.

Esrei Yamim has always been a time for me to think about the previous year – my accomplishments, successes, failures; the big questions I’ve pondered; the relationships I’ve built, maintained and broken; the holidays I’ve celebrated with friends and family; the states and countries I’ve visited; the milestones – and to consider goals for the upcoming year – identify my needs for improvement; think of where I have room to grow; figure out how I can be a better person than I was last year; apologize to people I’ve hurt; write a list of my top ten most offensive sins.

I make resolutions during secular New Year too, but always draw a line between the types of resolutions I make on Jan 1 and Rosh Hashana.  My resolutions for the secular New Year are typically material resolutions:  I want to stop using the word “like” in my speech. I try to keep my resolutions for Rosh Hashasha on a more spiritual plane: I want to rely more on my gut than my brain.

I think of Esrei Yamim as a time to recharge and reset, so I can start the new year on a fresh slate.

This year, Arielle and I are teaming to inspire Jews from all over to participate in an Esrei Yamim Cleanse. We are posing the cleanse as an effort to integrate mind/body/spirit connection with our Jewish traditions. We’ve done “the cleanse” several times  (there’s even a category for it under the recipe index here!). I like the cleanse because it forces me to slow down and think about what I put into my body, to appreciate food that isn’t tainted by chemicals and synthetic additives, to taste the goodness of purity. Eating on the cleanse makes me feel clean.

The rules are:

• No gluten
• No processed soy
• Vegan (plain organic yogurt is ok)
• No alcohol
• No added sweeteners (no sugar, no honey, no agave, no aspartame, no stevia, etc)
• Nothing that comes from a package with more than 3 ingredients
• No wheat

It sounds scary, but I promise that there’s still so so so much to eat. Visit 10yamimclean.wordpress.com for recipes, meditations, reflections and a virtual support group.

For some inspiration I want feature a few recipes on The Cleanse.

Curried Quinoa with Peas and Cashews

• 2 tbs olive oil
• 1 onion chopped
• 2 c quinoa (I like using red quinoa.. I think less mush/chewier than white quinoa)
• 2 tsp curry powder
• salt and pepper
• 3 yellow squash (recipe calls for zucchini)
• 1 c carrot juice
• 2 c peas
• 1/4 cup sliced scallions
• 1/2 c cashews
• 1/2 cup golden raisins (or chopped apricots)
• 1 bunch cilantro

Heat oil in a soup pot and add onions until brown. Then add quinoa, half of the curry powder and salt for two minutes to toast the quinoa (this will make it chewier and nuttier). Add 2 cups of boiling water and simmer for 20 min or until done.

Meanwhile, cook zucchini (or squash) and peas in oil and remainder of curry powder (add chilis or cayenne if you like spicy). Then, add carrot juice and salt and simmer for 10 minutes. Chop cilantro and scallions.

When veggies and quinoa are ready, mix together and add cilantro, scallions and raisins. Another option is to add peas separately (if you want to maintain their pure green freshness like I did in the above photo).

Grilled Peaches with Tahini and Herbs

• 4 summer peaches
• 2 tbs tahini
• juice of 1 lemon
• 1 c arugula
• bunch of fresh sage, thyme, basil, and/or tarragon
• salt
• pepper

I have to give credit to Arielle for this one. It’s amazing. When she grilled the peaches, it smelled EXACTLY like cotton candy. Foreal. I think it was the burnt sugar of the peaches.

So.. cut peaches in half and lay face down on flaming grill. Grill until slightly charred. Let cool.

Chop arugula and herbs into small pieces and mix into tahini and lemon sauce. Cut peaches into chunks and mix into sauce.

Serve over greens or grains (I prefer greens).

Chick Pea and Raw Squash India Inspiration

• 3 cups chick peas (cooked and drained or from a can)
• 5 medium squash
• Juice from 2 lemons
• 1 tsp lemon zest
• 1/2 c sliced almonds
• 1/3 c apple cider vinegar
• 1 tsp whole cumin seed
• 1/3 c golden raisins
• 1 bunch flat leaf parsley
• dash of cayenne
• 2 tsp curry powder
• 2 tsp turmeric
• salt

This is a great recipe to throw together if you’re in a rush. If you’ve got a can of chick peas in the cabinet, it requires no cooking! Just mix spices with apple cider vinegar, spices, lemon zest and lemon, and mix with cut raw squash (cut into thin slivers), chick peas, raisins, and almonds. Add grated carrots for a treat!

Dear mom,

I don’t like your labels. You think what I’m going through is angst?

Newsflash: this is my life. It doesn’t need fixing. Sure, it needs perspective every now and then. But I’m not some angsty 15 year old in need of a pep talk and a Prozac.

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I’m not depressed. I have fleeting in and outs with the overwhelming nothingsness of my life. I think that’s how it’s supposed to be. I’m not on any sort of career path, I’m cluessless about love, I don’t know what makes me happy, I don’t understand the value of most of my efforts… but am I really supposed to? What’s the point?

Panic. Calm. Nothing. Happy. Full. Nothing. Calm. Whatever.

Sure it’s frustrating, but I’m over the angst. It just is what it is.

I even feel like we’re on the same page, just communicating it differently. You and dad re don’t know what you’ll do next. You have another chance to think about what you want to be when you grow up. So you go to Oregon to experience the present moments in order to figure out what makes you feel good. I get that.

But…

1. Is questioning your “fit” with Birmingham something new? Because I could’ve predicted that uncertainty years ago.
2. You wrote that you had a clear vision for your life when you were in your 20s (friends, family, community), but do you have a clear vision of what you want now? I’m curious because I’m without one.

I do understand that Birmingham is comfortable and familiar. Nostalgia has a strong grip on my heart, and it pulls my desire to return to Birmingham all the time.

But right now, familiarity is boring and comfort is painful. I’m itching for a new adventure… one thousand bites from Indian monster mosquitos itching.

India. I’ve been thinking about it too much lately. Two years ago, I celebrated Rosh Hashana in an Ashram in Ahmedabad. It was a time where I felt that my life was so full (of who knows what). There seemed to be so much.

I think that you and dad are doing it right… Taking off on grand explorations to experience the present moment.

I need more practice. I do indulge in present moments, one by one… but I want to get lost in them. I want to get lost in and feel satisfied with my moments. How can I practice?

Yoga? I get too ancy.

Vegas? Dancing my pants off with thousands of half naked bodies in a murky day club pool is my zen.

Dani’s bachelorette party last weekend was out of control. We were 13 girls in 2 hotel rooms with 1 goal to party hard for Dani. And nearly a week later, my body is still in recovery from the debauchery.

First of all, can you believe it? Baby Dani’s getting married?! I don’t understand!! I’ve never seen someone so genuinely happy with his or her life. It makes me so happy to see her so happy. A glimmer of hope for all of us.

It was also refreshing to be with a group of girls just like me, 24 and clueless about goals and dreams. But the difference is that they’re ok. In my DC circle, it seems that everyone makes up some random goal/dream in his/her head, and works day in and day out to pursue the freaking dream for the sake of pursing a dream.

Just dance your pants off.

Maybe I’m looking for the wrong things. I’m sad because I don’t know what “dream” to pursue. But maybe the dream is to be motivated, feel good, explore new things always, grow spiritually and emotionally and learn continuously. Can I leave it at that? Can I be ok with it?

Are those the dreams that I can sacrifice everything for?

I’ll think about it…

Rosh Hashana is creeping up and I want to take a pause for some serious resolution making. I want to find what makes me feel good.

I want to do what makes me feel good in the moment.

In the spirit of Rosh Hashana and and indulging in the moments, I created two ridiculously indulgent, luxurious India-inspired recipes. They’re perfect for ringing in a sweet new year… and both gluten free!

They are rich. They are full. They are an adventure. They are even sort of healthy. And I made them up all by myself!

These two are a great success.

Love ya and Shabbat Shalom!

Shaina

PS. Arielle and I are throwing one of our Shabbat shindig/party/disasters tonight. Here’s a preview of the menu: grilled peach/avocado salad, succotash with roasted tomatoes and grilled corn, herbed zucchini soup and Gujarati eggplant. I may have to post out of turn to share the most successful recipes.

Sweet New Year Ladoo Balls

• 4 C Raw Pepitas (Pumpkin Seeds)
• 1/2 C Raisins
• 2 Tbs honey or agave
• Fresh cardamom to taste
• Clove Powder
• Sea salt
• 1 tsp coconut oil
• 2/3 C Unsweetened Coconut shreds

Put pepitas, salt, coconut oil (just a drop!), honey/agave, and spices into food processor and blend until it becomes a dark green butter. Stir in raisins. Store in fridge for half an hour or until butter becomes firm. Remove from fridge and roll into balls.

Then, drop them in a bowl of coconut shreds until the balls become covered in coconut. Serve chilled or at room temperature (they become mushy in heat).

Stick to a gluten free diet? I don’t recommend trying to pretend this is Rosh Hashana raisin Challah… but I do believe the two serve the same symbolic purpose: round, sweet and indulgent.

Curry Cashew Butter

• 2 C Raw Cashews
• 2 tbs Curry Powder
• 1 dash cayenne pepper
• 1 dash sea salt
• 1 tsp turmeric

Put all ingredients into food processor and blend until consistency of creamy butter is reached. It helps if you have a vitamix (it takes about half a minute), but I’ve done it in a cuisinarte and it works fine. If you use a cuisinarte, be careful of the engine/blades overheating. If they get to hot they’ll “cook” the raw cashews, and some of the sweetness of their rawness will be diluted.

Spread over apples and drizzle with honey… or raisin challah for a real treat!

Above: My tricolor tub of nut butters  – pepitas (pumpkin seeds, cashews and pistachios). Thank you, vitamix.