You abandon the blog for over a month. You call your Mahjong game an obligation. You amount your bathroom renovation to chaos.
Please.
It’s not hard to send me a recipe. Playing games with your friends isn’t a thing. Having a messy bedroom and beautiful bath does not = disaster. Why are these things consuming you?
I’m annoyed because what do you do?
(Laundry isn’t a thing.)
I’m annoyed because I get it and it worries me.
I think I was in 6th grade when I decided that I wanted Puma sneakers. We took a trip to New York to visit family, and you and I spent the first three days fiending for shoes. We mapped out every store in the city that carried Pumas and walked all of Manhattan. At the end of the three days, we found THE Puma factory store, which housed every model in every color. I cried there. The search commenced with a dark-grey suede pair of shoes with red stripes (not cute). They are still sitting in my closet… I maybe wore them twice.
It’s a good thing dad is tolerant of high levels of crazy.
You give 100% every time. It’s a trait that I admire, and a trait that, in my own life, I try to keep in check. It’s too easy to get sucked in – to be totally consumed — by the small things.
Pumas in New York, beads in Vancouver, hair-wraps in New Orleans, sweatshirts in San Fransisco, antiques in DC, textiles in India, hermit crabs at the beach. Our family vacations were driven by searches for things that we couldn’t find in Birmingham. My memories make me nervous that we … I… do not know how to enjoy time without something driving me towards an end goal (which has usually amounted to nothing).
Our search for Pumas was torture, but it was fun. The shoes were a catalyst of exploration and togetherness. We walked all of Manhattan and saw so many new things … together.
Now that you’re retired, your vacation is permanent. Laundry is a thing; Majong is a thing; bathroom renovations are a thing. I ask for help making desserts for Cari’s wedding and you bake, decorate, wrap and deliver 100 individual cakes. It doesn’t surprise me. Even Bubbe, without child-rearing obligations or a proper job, found reasons to wake up at 4 AM. She had to bake hundreds of knishes for … you know … people.
You enter the most confusing stage of motherhood and ask questions that, in my opinion, are not worth thinking about. All I can say is that the situation is not so confusing. You have time to dwell, so you dwell. How much space defines a close mother-daughter relationship? Ain’t no one got time to decipher that. Except for you.
xo,
Shaina
I just moved to a house closer to campus. In shifting pantries, I found one milllllion baggies of different seeds and nuts. Instead of re-organizing all the bits and pieces in my new house, I dumped them all into these biscotti and started fresh.
Honey Orange Whole Wheat Biscotti with Dates and Almonds/Pumpkin seeds/Pistachios
Prep time: 1.5 hours
Makes 3 dozen cookies
- 3 cups whole-wheat pastry flour
- 1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
- 1/2 teaspoon salt
- 1/2 cup honey
- 2 large eggs
- 1/4 cup olive oil
- Zest of two full oranges
- juice of one orange
- 1 tsp vanilla extract
- 1/2 c dates, finely chopped
- 1/3 c slivered almonds
- 1/2 c pumpkin seeds (optional)
- 1/2 c shelled, raw (unsalted) pistachios (optional)
In a medium bowl, whisk together flour, baking powder and salt. In a large bowl beat the honey, eggs, oil, zest, orange juice and vanilla until combined. In batches add the dry ingredients until the mixture forms a dough. Fold in the nuts (you do not have to use every variety of nut listed here – I suggest choosing one). Knead several times and then shape into a log (about a foot long, 3-4 in wide). Put log onto baking sheet and bake for 30 – 35 minutes until slightly brown and dry. Remove and allow to cool.
Once dough is cool, cut into 1/2 inch diagonal slices with a serrated knife (saw rather than chop – make sure not to push too hard). Arrange pieces on s baking sheet so they are facing up. Bake for ten minutes (shorter or longer depending on thickness of cookie) and flip. Bake for another ten minutes until hard and lightly browned.
Buckwheat and Rye Biscotti with Fig, Walnuts and Dark Chocolate Chunks
Prep time: 1.5 hours
makes 3 dozen cookies
- 1 c dark rye flour
- 2 c buckwheat flour
- 1/2 tsp salt
- 3 eggs
- 1/2 c sugar
- 1/4c olive oil
- 1/2 c dired figs, finely chopped (8-10 figs)
- 1/3 cup walnut pieces (small!)
- 1/3 c good dark chocolate chunks/chips
In a medium bowl, whisk together flours, baking powder and salt. In a large bowl beat the sugar, eggs and oil until combined. In batches add the dry ingredients until the mixture forms a dough. Fold in the nuts, figs and chocolate. Knead several times and then shape into a log (about a foot long, 3-4 in wide). Put log onto baking sheet and bake for 30 – 35 minutes until slightly brown and dry. Remove and allow to cool.
Once dough is cool, cut into 1/2 inch diagonal slices with a serrated knife (saw rather than chop – make sure not to push too hard). Arrange pieces on s baking sheet so they are facing up. Bake for ten minutes (shorter or longer depending on thickness of cookie) and flip. Bake for another ten minutes until hard and lightly browned.