Dear Shaina,
Another revelation for the apparently clueless mother…I had no idea of your anticipated diabetes diagnosis. There were many things that rolled around in my head in regard to the impact of my disease on the inner workings of your child mind, but that one eluded me.
I have always worked very hard to not burden anyone with my disease. When I was first diagnosed, your Bubbe and Zayde were devastated. My illness took on the magnitude of all the tragedies they had endured in their lives. I became to them the sick child. It weighed heavy on their hearts. I somehow knew that the only way I could ease their pain was to stay alive and live my life as if this diabetes thing was no big deal.
I started baking sugar-full desserts when I had friends over because I didn’t want people to feel like they had to deprive themselves in my presence. I baked sugar-free apple crisp and always had fresh fruit for myself so people wouldn’t feel sorry for me or feel bad for eating sugar in front of me. Managing the food part is the relatively easy part of living with diabetes, but it’s the most obvious concern to the non-diabetic world.
I learned early that people had a lot of misperceptions about this disease and I intuitively knew that it was my job to protect them from feeling responsible for my diabetes and, in turn, protect myself from their stereotypes. I made it look like it was no big deal. It worked for me…most of the time. I have only recently come to appreciate how big a deal the past fifty years have been. I can finally allow myself to feel some of my sadness without fearing that it will weigh heavily on the people I love or dampen my own spirit.
I am truly grateful that you didn’t feel my burden as your own. I am truly grateful that the worst fallout you have had to deal with are your enormous grocery bills and your obsession with fresh foods and cooking for yourself and everyone else you come into contact with. I am truly grateful to be very much alive and able to finally figure out what was really going on in that child brain of yours. I pray every day that I will live another twenty years (at least) so that I can be fully enlightened about what is really going on in your brain today. By now, I realize that cluelessness is a natural state of parenting in real-time.
In the meantime, the full force of summer in Birmingham has hit…hot and humid. The kale and cucumbers are thriving. The tomatoes are just beginning to get red and all the herbs are flourishing. A bluebird has decided to take up residence in our little birdhouse in the front yard and she has hatched a noisy little bunch of chirping baby bluebirds. So much for our summer entertainment…
I look forward to hearing about all of your adventures and I look forward even more to being clued in on the whole story twenty years from now.
Love,
Mom
xooxoxoxoxooxxoxo
Savory Herbed Potato Salad
This is my go-to summer Potato Salad. It has no mayonnaise which makes it a little less scary to take on a summer picnic. This recipe takes full advantage of all the herbs growing in our garden. It is very flavorful and everyone seems to love it. For those of you who have asked for this recipe, here it it is!
- 3 pounds red potatoes
- 1/4 cup olive oil
- 3 Tablespoons Dijon mustard
- 2 Tablespoons sherry vinegar
- 1 small shallot minced
- 1 teaspoon kosher salt
- 1/2 teaspoon ground fresh pepper
- 1/4 small red onion, chopped or thinly sliced
- 3-4 scallions sliced in small pieces
- 3-4 Tablespoons chopped fresh parsley
- 2 teaspoons chopped fresh thyme
- 1 Tablespoon chopped fresh tarragon
- 2 Tablespoons chopped fresh basil
- Black kalamata olives (optional)
- Coarse kosher salt to taste
- Freshly ground black pepper to taste
Boil potatoes with skin on until just done (easily pierced with a knife or fork). Overcooking can cause potatoes to be mushy.
Rinse with cold water and cut into bite sized pieces. I leave the skin on. Put in a large bowl.
While potatoes are cooking, prepare the fresh herbs and onions.
Whisk together oil, mustard,vinegar, shallots and salt and pepper. 
Pour mixture over potatoes and toss until potatoes are covered.
Add remaining ingredients and toss together. The amount of fresh herbs can be varied based on your taste preferences
Add salt and pepper to taste.
This dish is best if prepared the day before serving.
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